Save Me (VegasPete)

CHAPTER ONE

Some wounds never show on the body that is deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds- Laurell K. Hamilton.

...

He told me that it will be better if it was me who will kill him.

Vegas said that he will choose to die if it was me who will end it.

Little did he know that no matter how much he causes me pain, I never wished for him to disappear. He's the pain I chose to have... and suffer. He's the pain I never regret embracing.

Vegas is the world I never knew will be beautiful even though it's dark. He's the turmoil who causes my heart to feel something... different.

He was the reason why I continue living but sometimes... too much is suffocating.

His love isn't the love I wanted but it turns out to be the love I needed. If his goal is to make sure that I can no longer live without him, he did it wonderfully. Falling in love with him is both chaos and calmness.

But, the love we have isn't something worth fighting for.

It isn't the love that will be fixed by one apology.

Loving him is pain and suffering.

I will not allow myself to fall too deep.

Vegas. I am sorry. I need to leave to save myself. Let me be selfish this time, I am choosing myself before it's too late.

...

"Pete. Tomorrow, we will go to the Second Family for the formal ceremony. That will also be the last day for Khun Kan's burial." Arm told me as he continues to apply the ointment to my inflamed wrist.

I kept quiet without meeting his stares. I bit my lips after hearing that idea.

If I will go with them then that will be the first time I will meet Vegas after the confrontation between the two families. For some reason, I don't know what will happen if we see each other.

Will he be mad that I didn't choose him? Will he behave differently after I chose to stay with Khun? Is he holding a grudge?

"If you don't want to go then it's fine," Pol told me while having a bite of the apple he is eating.

I looked at the two who were secretly stealing glances at each other.

"If Khun No will come then I'll go with you," I replied and checked if Arm already placed the gauge properly. "I will do my duty as a bodyguard."

I went back to lay my back on the bed and stare at the wall still motionless. Both Arm and Pol decided to share rooms with me after they found out that I was locked in Vegas' room for several weeks.

How can I tell them that the same room I stayed in for more than a year makes me uncomfortable?

My body probably adapts to the room temperature in Vegas' room I need to have an extra fan to keep this room cold. The mansion of the Main Family becomes unfamiliar to me and my body keeps wishing to feel the coldness of Vegas' room. The air freshener here seems weird to smell.
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