A Court of Golden Shadow || Elain x Azriel

Chapter 4 - I'm Sorry Brother

Azriel was a mess of shadow, wings, limbs, and blazing siphons as he hurtled toward the Riverside Mansion, his wings spread wide, focused with rage, shadows speared ahead of him, piercing and hissing. His body was seething with magic, siphons crackling under the weight of his emotion as he traversed the cloud-flecked sky of Velaris in a chaotic combination of winnowing and flying. His mind, however, remained empty: devoid of any coherent thought, save for the reason he was charging through the wind like a maniac.

He had to see her.

Hovering above the back gardens of his High Lord and Lady's estate for a breath and last flap of his wings, Azriel launched towards the ground, landing in a one-legged kneel, his fist pounding down into the ground beneath him, shadows hissing, spreading into the gardens like water disrupted by a tossed stone.

Azriel allowed his rage to center him. He needed to get to her. Wings taut in agony, neck clenched with panic, he rose up from his kneel and strode towards the back doors of the mansion.

"A touch dramatic today aren't we?" A cool voice drawled, Rhys stepping from the side of the manor and addressing Azriel with a smirk, placing himself between the Shadowsinger and the doors.

Azriel's eyes darted towards his High Lord, closing the distance between them in three strides, gripping Rhys' shoulders and lightly shaking him.

"Is she still here? Why didn't you tell me? When did this happen? Are you making her leave? I need to see her." The uncharacteristically long string of sentences fell out before he could catch himself. Frustrated, he began to pull Rhys out of his way, pushing past him, his hand reaching toward the handle of the door.

"Woah woah woah Az." Rhys stepped back, blocking his path again.

His path to the door. His path to her.

Azriel paused, a lethal gaze setting upon Rhysand in a momentary shift. The male had just changed from his brother and High Lord to his obstacle: his only obstacle.

Rhys lifted up his hands. "Easy," he purred. "Easy. I need you to pause and listen. Yes she's still here. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react like this. It happened yesterday, and no. I am not making her leave. She came up with the idea on her own."

The last sentence fell off of Rhys' lips and into the caverns of Azriel's mind, clanging and bouncing around in an incomprehensible pattern.

"Her idea? She came up with this on her own? Or did you Daemati your way into her brain." Azriel spat out the words with disdain, tucking his wings in and looking down his nose at Rhys.

Genuine sorrow crossed Rhys' face as he absorbed the blow. He took a breath and pushed his hands into his pockets, stepping away from Azriel, slumping his shoulders.

The shift in Rhys' posture was enough to suck the rage and intensity from Azriel's mind, drawing him into reality, and a level of shame.

"No I did not Daemati Elain. We were as shocked as you seem to be. She came to us and told us she was ready to explore the bond with Lucien, and she wanted to do it in a different court."

Azriel let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding, his muscles relaxing. Logic flooded his mind. It was no use to argue with Rhysand. Elain had never promised him anything. In fact, she had winnowed from him, recoiling in pain the last time they encountered one another.

He turned towards Rhys, bowing his head, apology on his lips. "I'm sorry." The words exited roughly from his throat, his shadows returning to swirl around his chest.

Rhys nodded to his brother. "We are sending her off within the hour. Feyre is going with Nyx and Nesta to help Elain get settled for the first week. We've already winnowed her things, and Lucien will be joining them tonight."

When Azriel did not respond, Rhys set a hand on his shoulder, which slumped in response to the touch. Turning away in silence, Azriel looked down towards his scarred hand, a siphon burning blue on top and a rose bush bristling in the wind beneath his fingertips.

"I'm sorry brother." Rhys said finally, taking his leave, winnowing away and causing the rose to lightly brush against Azriel's skin.

His eyes began to sting.

ﾟ☆: *.☽ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ☽ .* :☆ﾟ

Elain was waiting in the lobby of the Riverside mansion, ready for Feyre to winnow her and Nyx into The Day Court. She looked up one last time to the landscape Feyre had hanging in the lobby of the manor. Elain knew she'd see the artwork again at some point, but something about this farewell seemed permanent. It was as if a different breeze was blowing in the wind, her senses prickling in response to the weight of her decision. The pull of the Cauldron yearning for her to yield to its will. To yield to Lucien.

Even though Elain had not accepted the bond with Lucien in a formal sense, she felt like everyone was already treating it like a finality. Like her decision to court him meant that their mating was inevitable. Like she had just taken the first step down the aisle, and the rest were already set in the stars.

And in a way... they were.

Because she was leaving Velaris: leaving the Inner Circle and forging a different path. Velaris had been a safe haven and brought her joy, but maybe it was just a stepping stone. Her eyes travelled down the brush strokes of Feyre's painting. Maybe Velaris was just a place between: somewhere to hold her while she pondered where she had come from and where she was going. The thought was bitter in her heart, because she knew she would miss the place. The fae who lived here.

Stopping the thoughts before they took root, Elain motioned to Feyre.

"Let's go." But as she said the words, reaching toward's Feyre's hand, Elain caught a scent of cedar. And mist.

And her hand paused.

ﾟ☆: *.☽ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ☽ .* :☆ﾟ

Azriel could not believe the overwhelming tide of emotion swelling within him as he laid eyes upon Elain in the lobby of the mansion.

Everything felt so different from a year ago.

What had began as simple companionship laced with riotous yearning had become this: a distance and wall between them that he could not shake. Seeing her here, the dark expression on her face: it felt like a true goodbye. A goodbye to their past, and a goodbye to what could have been.

She caught sight of him just as she was reaching toward Feyre's hand, her breath catching as he sensed her pulse pick up speed. He watched silently as Elain's hand changed course from her sister's reach, drawing instead towards his face. Azriel swore under his breath, trying and failing to resist the ball of emotion choking his throat, his eyes burning and hot.

Wordlessly, she drew that perfect hand to his face, locking into Azriel's gaze, a million unsaid words passing between them as her soft touch landed on his jaw, her thumb grazing his cheek.

"Thank you for everything." Elain whispered.

Blinking back hot tears, Azriel had just begun to reach for her, trying to cover her small hand cupping his jaw when she abruptly pulled away, reaching toward Feyre.

"Let's go."

Feyre looked towards Azriel with a mixture of confusion and surprise on her face as she obediently took her sister's hand and winnowed. He turned away and began striding for the front door, his shadows whispering, shrouding and drowning him in darkness.