A Court of Golden Shadow || Elain x Azriel

Chapter 29 - This Is Madness

Elain hugged her knees to her chest, closed her eyes, and concentrated harder than she ever had, trying to find a vision.

Azriel had brought her to the craggy rocks and bushes lining the Northernmost tip of the lake, and the village they had been staying at was almost a day's walk South of the Southernmost point of Koschei's lake. From the raised rocky terrain, Elain could almost see the water peeking through the dark forest, and she had been concentrating on it, willing the master of that lake to call to her, to say anything.

But it was no use.

Because she had far greater things on her mind at the current moment: specifically, the fact that the morning AFTER Elain had woken to the most beautiful sight she'd ever beheld, she had woken to the most hideous sight in the whole world: a bed completely devoid of shadow.

Elain remembered the whiskey, Azriel's hands in her hair as they crashed into the hallway, her pushing him onto his back as she straddled him on the bed, pawing at his pants, and whining her need, until the memories dissolved completely. The panic had risen in her stomach as she shot up, clutching the blankets to her body when she realized she was mercifully still wearing most of her clothing.

Thank the Mother.

But after the gratitude, Elain felt a wave of mortification tumble down upon her pounding head.

Because she had thrown herself at the Shadowsinger yet again, and he had seemingly ended things between them. And she was positive it was Azriel who stopped things because there was no way in hells it was her. Rubbing her head slightly and putting on her clothes, she admitted to herself that it was probably a good thing that Azriel had done what she could not; act like a responsible fucking adult.

Elain's mind flashed resentfully to the red-haired fae female, and then to her own red-haired mate back in Patras. After dressing and leaving her rooms in a hurry, Elain exited the inn, her hand shading her eyes from the rising sun as she stared into the surrounding cedars, searching for any sign of shadow. She was squinting at a dark place beyond the trees when she felt a presence behind her, nearly scaring her out of her boots.

It was Azriel, beautiful as ever, striding toward her holding an apple. "Eat." His low voice boomed, taking her hand and depositing the fruit in her palm. "We've got a lot of ground to cover today."

She peered up at him, accepting the apple with a duck of her head as she felt her face begin to burn. "I'm sorry about last night—"

"Don't worry." He interrupted, looked away, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I made sure nothing happened."

"Yes, uh... Thanks..." She whispered the words, staring at the ground as she felt a wall of tension raise between them.

She glanced up at him, just in time to see him avert his gaze from her. "Right." Azriel nodded toward the forest and began hiking, heading into the dark pines and away from the inn.

And now they were here.

Elain, forcing herself to concentrate on a death god who seemed to have no intention of ever interacting with her, and Azriel, completely and totally untouchable.

She had gotten used to his mask of indifference, his cool and rational personality, and his general unwillingness to show any emotion beyond what he felt comfortable with. But today? Today was something she had never experienced before with him. Because today, the distance between them felt like an entire ocean. It was as if he had finally decided he was sick of her shit.

And honestly, she didn't blame him.

Rubbing the heels of her hands to her eyes, Elain scowled. She was sick of her shit too.