alasia

fruit for thought

Amy pov

The ride is taking longer than I thought, and my legs feel like they're logs. I mean, after the fiasco of Katie holding hands with the blonde menace to society, the rest of the trip has been uneventful. Well, that is for us, because for everyone else, that was enough of an event for a life time's supply of amusement. I hear kids talking about it all over the bus. Even if they didn't go to school with Ken, he's a hot blonde, so they knew the picture didn't match. It's not like Katie's not hot, but there's this way about him, this, I don't even know how to explain it. He gives off jerk vibes, and most girls in this age range think that that's a good trait to have. Fate has been kind to me, and I've been able to avoid such attractions... but not all attractions.
Namely the boy sitting next me contemplating asking another girl out. I'm never intending on telling him. There's not really a reason to. I've always thought of myself as kind of a loner, and it's better that way. No one else gets hurt, and at the end of the day. That's what matters.
I don't believe I'm second best or something like that, but I don't need someone else. I can't rely on someone else. I'm not capable of trust like that. Like, knowing someone's there for you whenever.
Most of these kids spent a lot more time with their parents or in one physical place than I'll ever experience in my life time. I'm like a nomad, traveling where the wind blows me. And I like it that way, or I have to like it that way. I don't really have another option. So, I go with the flow. And then, some days, late at night, when I actually let myself dream, that's when the things that I want happen. Adventures.
Friends I get to keep.
I can spend hours with my parents.
I don't have to compete for second rate citizen.
Some place far from here where I can be myself.
And maybe,
if I close my eyes, and try really hard.
I let myself imagine that someone else is there too. That maybe, somewhere out there on the horizon of my future, I'll have a family.
But that's as far as it goes. It's a dream, saved up in the analogs of my brains that they'll have to remove with a scalpel when I'm dead. That's the only way anyone will know my dreams.