Clutch of Affliction

Chapter 7

When I was growing up the only fear I had was being alone. I cannot stand it when I am the only one in that place. As if someone would appear and take me away. 

However, as I grew up, the fear I felt was adding up. Whether it was heavy or not. Thus, I discovered that all fears do not fade away. It will stay. 

With that, I only thought of doing something that I would not be alone with. Even if I will suffer, I'll still choose to be with someone. 

It is a pity. I pity myself. I felt weak. 

"Let's date," Luke blurted out. 

That makes me laugh. An awkward laugh. 

He pouted and said, "I'm serious, Liza Keilyn Tijana." 

I rolled my eyes. "Stop saying things that you might regret in the end, Luke," I said with a serious tone. 

"You bet," he says. 

I cannot say anything. I don't know what to feel. It makes me feel like I am floating and don't know where I am heading. 

Is he really serious? As long as I wanted to believe that he was just joking, I knew he was not. I knew him when he was being serious. 

Should we give it a try? Should I?

We gave it a try. But honestly, nothing changed. Just like what we have been doing before, it just continues. No awkwardness, no dull moments, just us being us. It took months before I decided to take the risk and hope it would be worth it. 

We didn't try to become sweet to each other, as much as we could. As what I wanted to happen. 

I don't believe in relationships, until now. I can't be attached that much. Because I know, at the end of the day I know I will only have myself. I know I am a very dependable person, especially to Arya and Luke, especially. But I don't believe in such things that will last. 

Luke's sweet because he's been like that since we were a kid. And, it does not cringe. It's normal. I love him about that. Not romantically, though. Or am I convincing myself it's not?

We just started dating and all I could say is that I am happy and enjoying it. It's all that matters. Thus, we talked that if one of us wants to back out of this relationship, just say so, and then we'll stop. 

I gaze at Luke's spot. He's buying takeout for Arya and our friends. We planned to visit her and spend time with her. We missed her so badly even though we spent time together yesterday.

"I ordered a salad for Arya. It's good for her," Luke said when he came back. 

When we order food, we always include healthy foods so Arya would eat some. We always prioritize it every time we eat. 

"Tagal niyo, huh? Nag date pa ata ang mga gago," bungad ni Lucas nang makarating kami sa harap ng bahay nila Arya. 

"Manahimik ka nga, hindi ka makakakain." Pananakot ko sa kaniya. 

"Wow, natakot ako," sarkastiko niyang sambit. 

"Don't fight with Liza nga, Lucas!" Belle suddenly interrupted. 

"I won't away na sa cousin mo, bebe Belle." Pagpapa-cute ni Lucas kay Belle. 

What's wrong with these two, seriously?

 "Nahiya ang dining area sa inyo." Singit naman ni Enzo. "Tara na sa loob, excited na si Arya ko na makasama kayo." 

We then walked toward the dining area and while we were walking, I asked Enzo.