Angel Montoya
Its been lonely these past couple of weeks. I've officially lived in Santa Barbara for nine days. I convinced my parents to let me move into the house earlier and my dad pulled strings to get me to start classes during the summer session instead of starting in the fall.
I moved here three days after returning from my New York trip which i left for four days after graduation.
Current day is May 27,2021. There's not much for me to do here besides watch tv. I feel trapped in my own house. I don't know what to do. I feel like i'll end up going crazy. I think i am going crazy.
I cried one day and haven't stopped crying since then. That day was so bad though, i got home and cried right when my mom asked me how his house was. I quite literally cried myself to sleep that night, my mom held me as i cried. I haven't told anyone what happened, Amelie knows but that's because she was there. I haven't spoken to her about it and she's letting me come to her on my own.
I've received multiple messages from multiple people but i don't respond. I only talk to my family, Amelie, Marybelle and Daniella. I don't want to see or talk to anyone in LA which is what made me moving here to Santa Barbara easier.
I just wanted to get away... start over... not know anyone. I've also managed to stay away from social media. I have not posted anything since my graduation, i haven't liked anything since then too.
To say i miss him is an understatement. I really fucking miss him.
Which reminds me...
I grab my phone from the night stand next to my bed and type the name of the dealership on the search engine bar. When the number popped up i clicked it and called.
"Hello-"
"Hi, sorry is Ricardo there?" I interrupted the dealership worker. Ricardo is the only one whose name i remember.
"Yes i'll send you over to his office"
"Thank you." There was a dial tone and then a man cleared his throat. "Ricardo?"
"Yes? May i know who this is"
"Um i got a car in February it's a 2020 BMW well my uhh ... boyfriend got it for me and i just want to know if i can switch the title and make payments from somewhere else?" I haven't been using the car. It's been parked in the same spot since earlier this month and hasn't been moved. I was trying to give it back to him but he never went to pick it up, i went to New York and he went to drop flowers off to my mom on mother's day but left the car.
I've been using my dads old car, i miss my car but i don't feel right having or using it.
"Yeah i can let you know, whose name is the car under?"
"Vincent Hacker" I heard him type on a keyboard, "And if there's any payments i need to make for any of this then i'll do it"
"Okay i pulled up your boyfriends account and it looks like a payment was just made a payment less than twenty days ago. Unfortunately i can not authorize a change in anything without his approval or he has to do it himself. So if you want you can put him on the phone with you or have him call us and we'll get it changed." Fuck
"Um i'll have to get back to you on that, thank you." I hung up.
Looks like i'm asking my brother to drop it off at his house or something. I'm not willing to talk to him right now, it's too soon. Or maybe i'll never talk to him again.
Or maybe him paying my car is the least he can fucking do after everything.
Just as i was gonna throw my phone on my couch it started ringing. belle❤️🔥
I tapped the green button and put her on speaker. "Hello Mary" I greeted.
"Hi bestie, me and Dani are outside waiting for you come on."
"Are you serious? Or joking" She's the type to mess with someone like that.
"I'm serious hurry we have somewhere to be" I sighed and put on some converse, grabbed my bag and walked to the front door.
"Okay i'm going out already" And with that she hung up leaving me to lock my door when i walked out. I have an alarm system so the reason why i didn't know she was here is because she parked across the street a few houses down. "Where are we going?" I asked as soon as i opened the car door.
"You'll find out when we get there" I looked at Mary through the mirror, "It's a surprise"
"Mhm"
Belle and Dani have been checking up on me everyday. They are also going to UC Santa Barbara so they found an apartment but come see me daily to make sure i'm good. I've told them to just live with me but they reject my offer. Amelie being the nicest person ever, has came to see me often too she's even brought Blake over once so he could apologize on behalf of his friends. He didn't do anything wrong so i told him to stop apologizing. I did make him swear to not tell anyone where i live and he agreed.
-
"Why are we here?" We are outside an animal shelter i love animals but i don't think i want to go in there if i don't plan on taking at least one of them home with me.
"Angel we are visiting the trees." Mary spoke sarcastically making me roll my eyes. "What the hell do you think we're doing here?"
"Babe shut up, Angel when i was in a bad place my dad would take me to visit animals so i thought it'd help you feel better." Dani unbuckled her seatbelt before speaking again. "We don't know what went on with you and... him but when you're ready to talk we are always going to be here for you, we are always on your side, we will always wipe your tears."
I blinked away the tears that were forming in my eyes, i don't want to cry. Maybe i should've let them fall since people always say to let out all the tears.
"Can we go inside?" I asked as i wiped my face making sure no tears escaped my eyes.
