Angel Montoya
TW: Eating problems, body problems (appearance wise)
The same person who i wanted to hate so badly... stood a few feet away with his eyes locked on mine.
Of course i would run into him today.
"Angel you okay?" Blake spoke up which made me look away.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, "Uh yeah i'm okay" I quickly glanced to where i was looking before but he wasn't there anymore. He had taken a seat a few tables away with his friends.
I am dreading leaving this place. I know the exit is on his side so i'd have to pass by him and to top it off he sat right next to the walk way.
"You haven't touched your food" I looked down at my plate and saw that i really haven't touched my food. It's been here since before Vinnie and his friends got here and it's still untouched.
"Oh i was waiting for it to cool down" I lied. How do i tell them i can't eat.
"Angel that's a salad" Ryan pointed out, smiling at me.
"My stomach hurts" I lied again, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom i'll be back"
"I'll go with you if you want" Amelie offered but i shook my head.
"I'm okay, thank you" I got up and walked to the restroom which thankfully was not near him.
As soon as i opened the door i was greeted with an oceanic scent which i'm sure are from air refreshers whether they're plug-ins or the ones that automatically spray.
I walked further into the restroom to stand in front of the mirror. I don't need to use the toilet i just came here to get away, yes i know how weird that sounds but i needed to be away from the table, away from my friends, away from him.
My hands found the counter and my eyes met my own reflection. I took in everything of my appearance.
My hair is no longer dark brown. My eyes have bags. If i lift my shirt up even a little bit you'd be able to see my ribs.
I am not the same person i was over a month ago. I don't even recognize myself anymore. If i thought i was ugly before imagine what i think of myself now.
Who even is the person looking back at me?
She's a sad, pathetic girl who is missing the person who used her. She's the person who's cried more during this past month than in her entire life. She's the person i never wanted to become. She is the burden that people are left to deal with. She is the person who did not deserve to go through anything she went through.
Maybe that's the problem... I pity myself but maybe i was a bad person in my old life and i actually do deserve to be put through horrible situations. Maybe that's all i'm meant for.
I felt a tear that i didn't realize escaped roll down my cheek.
I am not about to cry at a restaurant.
I wiped it away and cleaned up my face before going back out and walking to the table. I silently took a seat, not really wanting to talk.
My hand picked up a fork and i started picking at the salad in front of me.
You can do this. I told myself as i picked up the fork that had lettuce and chicken on it.
The salad looks good but i'm just disgusted with food.
I brought the fork to my mouth and took the contents of the fork and started chewing slowly. I can hear my stomach practically begging me to eat but i can't. I put the fork down when tears blocked my clear vision so i blinked it away.
I can't swallow this, i already feel like throwing up. I pretended to swallow in case anyone was looking but got a napkin and discreetly spit the food in it and covered it. Then i grabbed my glass of water and took a sip and bit the straw to distract myself.
"Angel you want some?" Ryan offered some of his pasta but i shook my head.
"I'm not hungry" I felt Amelie's eyes on me then she looked at my plate and back at me.
"Ang... you nearly passed out twice at the country club" Did i?
"No i didn't?" I spoke confused
"Yes you did" Blake spoke up, "You should eat."
"I think i'd remember if i nearly passed out" I defended, "I'm good i ate before we left my house"
Ryan looked at me with a knowing look. He was there and i did not eat.
"We've been out for hours now" Amelie's voice was soft. "You did almost faint"
"It was probably too hot, im good i ate a lot in the morning." She sighed but did not speak anymore.
It took us a while to be ready to leave. Blake paid because he wanted to although we all offered to split. I got my food to go, everyone else left their leftovers since they actually ate.
While walking down the pass way to leave I was met with the same light brown eyes as earlier. He stared right at me, not saying anything.
"What's up Vin?" Blake spoke from in front of me, "Crazy running into you here"
He got up from his seat to greet Blake properly.
"What's up man, yeah it is crazy. I just finished training a bit ago." I could feel his eyes on me.
I don't have anything to say to him so instead of sparing another glance, i followed Amelie outside to where she had walked away to. Blake was left talking to his friend and Ryan was walking behind me.
"Where's Blake?" Amelie asked as we approached her.
"Talking to ... um-"
"Vinnie" I cut Ryan off, "He's inside" I informed her and she gave me a look that tells me she feels bad. "It's okay, i didn't talk to him"
I wish i could just hear his explanation so i wouldn't be left to wonder where i went wrong.
