snapchat | billie eilish

chapter 14

"finally!!!" i screamed as closed the hotel door behind us. i was officially going back to new york.

"you sure you don't wanna stay with me?" jaylin asked, transferring money into my account. "nah, im gonna figure it out at some point." i said and she nodded, looking at me worried.

"im always a call away, dell. don't forget that." she said and i nodded.

"aight, i love you." i said and she nodded, replying the same. she walked the opposite direction, leaving me on the streets of manhattan by myself.

it was my first time really being outside in a few months and as freeing as it should've felt, i can't help but look over my shoulder constantly.

it felt like everyone was looking at me.

im really not one to blink an eye over shit like this but knowing i only have one person on my side in this whole city made me feel terrifyingly outnumbered. i don't have my gun, i don't have my brother. i don't have anywhere to live. i have no one.

i don't even have a gram of weed.

i looked over my shoulder again.

my phone buzzed in my hand with a text.

jay 🦋🌀
bitchhhhh guess i just saw..

                                                                          who???
jay 🦋🌀
billie and she looked fine as fuckkkkk

                 stop playing games and also that's gay

jay 🦋🌀
🌚

i called billie instantly. i did actually kinda miss her. as soon as she answered i didn't even give her a chance to say hello.

"why wouldn't you tell me you're gonna be in new york?" i asked begrudgingly.

"you not the only one that can be secretive. i don't gotta tell you anything." she said back very aggressively.

"fuck you then." i said. she sucked her teeth. "yeah okay della. it's always the same shit with you." she said and i stayed quiet.

"you always busy and some shit and then it's bye billie. stay out my business billie. i don't even know why i still fuck with you." she said and my nose instantly started to burn with tears. damn when did i turn into such a little bitch?

"you don't know half the shit i been through!" i said, fighting the ball in my throat.

"cause you won't fucking tell me!" she yelled back.

"it's like you be fighting the entire world sometimes and i wanna be the one person that's there to bring you an ounce of peace but no you decide to shut me out when i just wanna be with you and there for you." she said and i sucked my teeth.

"what is this some sick game for you? do you get off on knowing my life is worse than yours?" i asked.

"are you dumb? i don't know anything about you della. and that thought hasn't even crossed my mind." she said, sounding completely over it. "well if you're over me you can just lose my number." i said.

"you're insane to think i would ever be over you." i scoffed at her answer.

"whatever billie."

i said and hung up on her. i walked through the cold streets, everything seemingly in black and white.

i pulled my hoodie over my head, my broken nail falling off in the process. i sighed, feeling like that was my last straw. i gave up, squatting on the side of a building, resting the back of my head against the wall in defeat.