Chapter 6

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TW: SWEARING, AGGRESSION, REJECTION, MENTIONS OF WAR AND DEATH

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I had kept my mouth sealed shut all through breakfast whilst bearing the full brunt of Amélie's glare

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I had kept my mouth sealed shut all through breakfast whilst bearing the full brunt of Amélie's glare. I had been risking everything going to the Pube most nights of the week, and I knew full well what havoc she would wreak on me should she have evidence to accuse me of sneaking out. Restraining myself was hard, the Pube was a haven for me and lying low was almost as exhausting as reading up about the water crisis. Every night I lie in bed staring at the high white ceiling wishing someone would teleport me to the bar where I knew Wilbur, Niki and Sneeg were. 

 It only gets worse when I don't manage to excuse myself from the breakfast table before Joshua arrives to fly with Amélie to the academy. I still don't understand why a graduated student would need to return, but here we are. 

Like usual, I grit my teeth and pretend not to listen as Amélie coos over her beloved fiance. I pretend I don't hear a wet pat indicating a kiss. I pretended I didn't see them leave. I pretend not to sigh with relief. I pretend not to feel the hopeful, habitual flip in my stomach plummet as I reminded it that he would never dare touch something as ugly as me. I pretend not to feel the suffocating weight of my brace after I think that thought. 

Anger pulsates through my veins as I stand from the table feeling pettier than ever. 

・꧁꧂・

I bounced feeling giddy knowing that Amélie would be home soon with Josh. My grin was uncontrollable and I didn't even feel the ache of my knees on the crappy cushion on the window seat. I gripped onto the windowsill with my little fingers as tight as I could. 

Amélie had been out all day, surely they're coming soon. I self-consciously touched the beaded necklace I had made and the silver studs I was wearing in my ears. I hoped I looked pretty. Hope that Josh would come into the house and say hello to me was strong in my mind. 

He was so handsome, and not to mention kind. Dad had invited some families to dinner a week ago and he defended me when the other kids were teasing me about my brace. He turned around and asked me if I was ok. Nobody ever asked me that. I was sure it was love at first sight. He asked how old I was and grinned when I said I was fourteen, the same age as he was. 

My heart leapt in my chest when I saw the familiar colour of dappled chocolate-coloured wings. His eyes shone like gold in the afternoon light. They land by the door and I get to my feet in anticipation of the door opening. I wrung my hands waiting for it to open, but it didn't. 

Confused, I went back to the window, pressing my cheek to it so I could see what was happening. Amélie stands in front of Josh smiling shyly, I don't get why. She's always confident, why does she look like that? He laughed, a sound I had committed to memory so clearly and confidently that I could almost hear it through the glass. 

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