𝙁𝙡𝘼𝙈𝙀 // 𝙀𝙑𝘼𝙉 𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙇𝙀𝙔

Forty - one.

"Hey Kate" Buck shook his sleeping girlfriend

Kate woke up slowly, she noticed she fell asleep on the couch "is everything okay?" She grunted

"Yeah, we got called out for an emergency. I left dinner in the microwave for you okay, make sure you eat"

"Mm, okay" she yawned "I love you, be safe okay"

"I will. I love you too"

With a quick kiss, Buck was gone in seconds. Leaving Kate with her thoughts and her cat.

"You are sucking the life out of Me" Kate spoke, she didn't know to who exactly but it felt easier that way

She stood up from the couch and walked over to the microwave, she set the timer for 2 minutes and waited as her food heated up.

Milo nudged against her leg, purring quietly "what do you think milo, do you like the idea of a new baby"

He meowed in response, nudging her leg again "oh what do you know, you're a cat"

The microwave pinged and Kate took out the hot plate, the smell of the food was enough to churn her stomach, not because Evan made a bad meal but because her unborn child was against it.

"Come on, this is my favorite thing" she whined, "you suck" she groaned,

Kate scraped the food into the bin and dropped the plate in the sink, she walked down to her room to change into something more comfortable.

"You know, sam really didn't like my favorite foods either. I'm pretty sure I lived off dry crackers and water for the first month"

She took of her shirt and put a larger one on, feeling more comfortable she sat on the bed "you're suppose to be a blessing and all day I've spent every second wondering what to do. I know it's rare for something to happen to you but I'm so scared it will"

"I lost your broth-..." there is was, it was like sentence to trigger all. The idea is she had this baby, Samuel would be a brother but wouldn't he around to be a brother.

Kate's phone chimed with an incoming call, she glanced at it and seen the FaceTime from her mother. She sucked back the tears answered.

"Mam?" She questioned, "it's like 4:30 over there, why are you calling"

"Oh I couldn't sleep, figured you might be awake" she replied, "why aren't you at work? Are you okay"

Kate was not okay, she was far from it. Her day had started off bad and only got progressively worse, by next week she could be single and lose the only person who stayed through it all.

Kate let out a weep, "no..Everything is so messed up"

"Oh honey, what's going on?" Her voice was soft, but underneath it Bridget was now engulfed with worry.

"I'm pregnant" Kate sniffled, her breath hitched "I can't.. I can't do it again. I can't love someone so much I could explode only to.-..to lose them. I will-.. never be okay and I just, I can't do it again"

"Okay Kate sweetie, try and take a few breaths. Does buck know"

Kate nodded, choking back more tears "He really wants kids. I don't know if I can do that and now... now I might lose him too"

"I had a miscarriage" Bridget admitted, "it was a year after I had your brother and it was a complete surprise. We weren't ready but your father was so excited, he told me we could do it. We could have 2 kids under 2, plenty of people do it. I was 16  weeks when I miscarried, we just found out the gender and honey it tore me in 2 because even though I wasn't sure, I still loved that baby, and you father - well he stepped up. He took time off work spent time with David, let me grieve the way I had to."