A Collection of One Shots

To Be Me

November 5, 2021
Entry: 012

"What does it take to be you?" A sudden phrase that intended to show admiration to what she may have done or accomplished. "You're so talented, jeez." A remark that sounded annoyed but nonetheless had a perception of praise between the lines. Simple words of appreciation sparks up the ecstatic feeling within her. The blissful emotion never fails to make her smile, but of course her mind has a mindset of "It's temporary. You're not really good enough".

If one has too much confidence in themselves, surely they'd probably become arrogant. And since that is the case, She has grown to always remember the fact that there will always be someone else better. There is someone more talented. Someone smarter and so she must restrict herself from thinking that she's better than anyone else.

It's good to think that way, but sometimes it's tiring. The fact that there is someone better will push her to do more. To tirelessly strive to be the best, well in fact there will always be someone better. Although she has perceived it as a motivation, it's the same thing that brings her down.

"What is it to be me?" She thought to herself. "I'm not really smart, I just study hard. If I don't keep up, I'll only be remembered as a fake, acting wise." She whispers out loud as she slides her books to the side.

Then she turns around and sees her instruments as she walked closer to them, she sighed. "I'm not really musically inclined, I just love music and got lucky in composing or playing a certain song." She says with a tone of sadness.

Moments later, she doubts herself even more with thoughts like, "I'm not really an artist, I just practice my sketches, and I am privileged to acquire such art materials." Even more so she adds, "I'm no writer either, I just jot down random thoughts and ideas."

If she's not really all those things, then who is she really? Why does she do so much when it's not really her? Or is she just doubting herself?

"Maybe I'm really all of those, I'm no expert in such areas, but I do not know anything either. Everyone is unique with their own learning pace." She smiles at the mirror, realizing what she should've been thinking all this time.

"I may not be a genius, but I wouldn't deny that I've studied hard through the years." She exclaims as she looks over her certificates of accomplishments. "I am no music specialist, reading notes is still tricky, but I do love pouring my heart out through it." She hums as her smile grows brighter.

"I can't draw as great as talented artists do, but I can draw what I like. I freely paint and draw what comes to mind, if I need to study drawing anatomy then I shall." She reminds herself.

"I may not be as great as the well known writers, but I do love expressing my thoughts in my works." She remembers the joy it brought to her.

Lastly, she assures herself, "I am me and I should be grateful about it." In a world full of ambition, dreams, and aspirations, you don't need to tire yourself of doubt. Be happy in what you are. Don't think too highly of yourself, but continue to enjoy the passion without competition.

<～▼┗♡☆ﾟ.*ﾟ✧◍♡◍✧ﾟ.*ﾟ☆♡┛▼～>

I guess it's safe to say that this is one of the most relatable one shots I've written. Although I'm proud of it, the fact that I keep posting yet realizing I'm leaving notes simply to myself to read can at times be discouraging or perhaps tiring. Nonetheless, to have written this back in the day and finally have the courage to let it be known to a certain extent is somewhat progress in itself. I still have a long way to go...

Disclaimer: Photo is not mine credits to the owner. Inform me if you wish to put it down due to copyright.

Sincerely,
Gela
(✿^‿^)