February 8, 2022
Entry: 016
"No one would stay by me."
"No one would smile with me."
"No one would laugh with me."
"No one would listen to me."
"No one could understand me."
"No one would appreciate me."
"No one would compliment me."
"No one would admire me."
"No one would love me."
That is simply because "No one would choose me."
Loneliness never felt so real when you realize that no one really means someone. A forlorn truth that I tend to ponder on even if it was best to accept then forget it. The thought of it still lingers in the corners of my mind from time to time, and I contemplate it even deeper as the day goes by. Those very sentences of "no one"would keep me up at night in the hopes that there would be someone.
The idea of having someone be that no one caused a nominal smile plaster on my face. The picture of it to actually be true is amusing to the point it hurts. To realize how beautiful and easier it would have been if it was real was something I craved for. And I must admit, it was painful to beg for that reality.
"Someone would stay by me."
"Someone would smile with me."
"Someone would laugh with me."
"Someone would listen to me."
"Someone could understand me."
"Someone would appreciate me."
"Someone would compliment me."
"Someone would admire me."
"Someone would love me."
Why do I have to beg for the idea of "Someone to choose me?" What an agonizing thirst for the presence of another to treat me the way I long for. The yearning of a being who would be willing to level and be there for me. To experience what it's like to actually call someone, "friend". A dear true friend who would be eager to be that someone. To be the someone to fill up my no one.
When will no one be someone? When will the void be filled to the depths of its lonesome? When will that dream become a reality? Wouldn't it be euphoric to actually live it? But then again, who am I kidding? Why must I even ask those questions when the answer is crystal clear?
To hope for someone when no one is really there should be enough to wake me up from a conception that it is possible to actually ever exist.
<～▼┗♡☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ✧◍♡◍✧ﾟ.*ﾟ☆♡┛▼～>
Disclaimer: Photo is not mine credits to the owner. Inform me if you wish to put it down due to copyright.
Link to Pin for the Photo
https://pin.it/22cSq2U
Sincerely,
Gela
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