November 18, 2021
Entry: 014
To the one who'd never know about this...
Just when I thought I had forgotten about you, you'd appear in front me. You weren't at your best level when you appeared. You were vulnerable, you were transparent, you were utterly open. And for once, I thought it was real. Although it was heartbreaking to hear your voice shatter, I was glad you instead came to me. You chose me, among others whom I have warned you about. I thought you'd finally realized that I was here for you. That you could show your true colors to me. But of course, it happened to only become real in a world that is in contrast to reality, a dream. A subconscious mind has altered the image of you coming back. It's a what if of you and me. What a joke to still be affected by it. Why must you trigger me spontaneously? As much as I miss you and love you, I don't want you anymore. You make me question myself every time. You cause up an unknown anxiety, and at worse cases, I'd lose myself. Don't you know how painful it is to feel warm tears cascade down your cheeks because of someone who matters dearly? You couldn't hate them because you love them and that is what burdens you. Even though I'd like to just hate you, I couldn't get myself to. Now I wonder, why do I feel this way towards you? What could have you done to make me erupt emotions such as these? Whenever I look back, you didn't even return the care I shared. Although you would say you did care, I knew it was nothing more or less other than the fact you had to say it for my sake. You would need me but never want me. Actually, thank you. Thank you for not needing me anymore. If you had not distant yourself, I would have been a wreck. Thanks for leaving, I wish you nothing but the best. May you enjoy your life to the fullest with the right people, and I hope you find the one who would treat you right in every aspect. In the ups and the downs, may that person love you more than anyone else could have had.
From the one you'd never thought about.
<～▼┗♡☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ✧◍♡◍✧ﾟ.*ﾟ☆♡┛▼～>
Disclaimer: Photo is not mine credits to the owner. Inform me if you wish to put it down due to copyright.
Sincerely,
Gela
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