Fallen for my past | 18+

Chapter 8 - Shower

AN: SEXUAL SCENES BELOW

J A Y S O N

"Think about it" I said on the verge of breaking down as I left the room. I dont think she was paying much attention, she was more focused on the painting.

It was liked she zoned out not hearing anything I said like I wasn't important to her. Well I guess I'm not important to her anymore, not like I used to be.

Ever since I met her...6 years ago I changed. For the worse. I used to be a heartless and cold person and after she lost her memory I became worse.

They call me the merciless king for a reason. I earned the name after Liyah lost her memory. I don't know how I survived. I was barely a person, I acted like I was a mechanical machine built to kill and I still do, the only difference now is that Liyah is back in my life.

I'm doing as much as I can to help her regain her memory. She's getting flashbacks but can't see me in them. It's not enough and I don't know what to do anymore.

She's not the same Liyah anymore. She's obviously changed, just like I have but that doesn't change the fact that I still love her and it never will.

Everybody keeps telling me I should move on, forget about Liyah and let her live her life without me but none of them understand what it's like.

They don't understand that I'm trying my hardest. My head's a fucking mess but I'm still trying.

~~~
"Jayson what the fuck are you doing here?-" Chase questioned furious. "-You look like a fucking disaster"

I was inside the bar that we had in the mansion, I had finished 3 bottles of alcohol and I'm on my 4th bottle right now. Ignoring what my brother said I just gulped the rest of the bottle.

I threw it in a act of anger. "She fucking can't remember me, she fucking c-cant rem-embr" I said shouting slowly going into a soft voice on the verge of tears. Tears started to flow down one by one like a heavy rainstorm happening in my eyes if that makes sense.

It's only been 5 months. I went to the club yesterday and saw her there. She was carefree and happy without me. I stood there watching her sway her hips to the music and as she turned around she looked me dead in the eye. I couldn't stand there anymore so I just walked away.

"You need to move on... She getting in your head. How are you going to run the Mafia if she's going to be in the way? You need to get your fucking head in the game and stop drinking its fucking you up I mean look at you!" Chase shouted at me. I mean he was right but how...how am I supposed to forget the only good thing that's happened to me?

Sure I have my family and friends but I've been depressed my whole life because of the impact of being the heir to the mafia had on my shoulders. I had to be perfect at everything I did and I am but it isn't enough apparently, everything I do isn't fucking enough like when I tried to save her but I couldn't reach the accident in time...

I got up not replying to him. "Where are you going?" he shouted picking up the bottle pieces. "I need some space. From everything and everyone" I walked out the door and drove. I didn't know where I was going.

°°°
I ended up going to the base. I decided to torture some people we didn't need anymore.

I walked into one of the cells and started torturing captives one by one.

~~~~

On that day I started something I couldn't stop. Everyday whenever I  miss her I would go and drink then afterwards I would go and torture people.