misery //bobs burgers

cover them up

                                tina's pov
                               wednesday

the boys all left leaving me and mom alone. why would they leave her like this? why would she let herself end up like this. i'm so angry this happened why wasn't i there for them? for her? why didn't they tell me in the first place, is this what happens when you go to high school. i haven't cried yet but i'm just so mad at the situation. she has to wake up and soon. i don't care that the doctor said a few weeks she needs to wake up now. she needs to come back. even more i wish i could talk to her but i can't even do just that, so i hold her hand. considering louise fell and didn't break anything it shouldn't hurt, right? my mom is mostly hugging me and telling me "it's ok" what does she not get about this. it's NOT ok. none of this is. why would they do this, i mean seriously who's dumb idea was it? was louise's or was it genes? and why did they agree? why wasn't gene there for her, why didn't he stop it? the machines say she's alive but it feels like she's dead. and people are acting like she is. when i picked up that phone and i heard gene crying my adrenaline went through the roof. atleast he had a phone right? the ability to call for help. and he used it, what if they had gotten there too late? or WE had gotten there too late? "-eathe honey breathe. tina you gotta breathe." i hear mom saying. i've been hyperventilating and didn't even notice. i need to calm down i feel like i'm dying. how could i think that when louise is literally right here unconscious? that's when i started crying. i could breathe but i was losing tears at miles an hour. it only took me 10 minutes before i was cried out and needed water. "tina do you wanna go home? go see your brother and your dad? we can get ice cream." i just shook my head yes. leaving louise there all alone. seriously what person leaves their unconscious sister alone in a hospital. when we get in the car mom starts talking. "tina i know this is hard. it's hard for everyone and everyone grieves differently. and that's ok sweetie. we're here for you. and when louise wakes up we'll be there for her too. louise isnt dead and she isn't going to die anytime soon, that's what the doctors are for. it's nobodies fault this happened tina. not yours and not hers. i know you may feel helpless because i do too, not being able to do anything but wait? and remembering its what the doctors are there for is hard but it's going to be ok." mom finished. "but it's not mom you keep saying that but it's not true. nothing about this is ok. and what happens after? you heard what the doctor said she could be blind OR DEAF. this "event" has taken something from us and it's never gonna come back. or maybe for us it will but not for louise. she will always remember this mom. and if she loses her hearing or eye sight it will RUIN her. so no mom, it's not ok. i mean for godsakes she can't even wear her ears like this, how and why would this happen to a fifth grader of all people." mom had pulled into the parking lot by this point. "that's what we're here for, for her. no matter what, and when she wakes up she's gonna need you too tina. you're right. i'm sorry i keep saying it's ok, because it's not. but i'd like to believe that it is or atleast will be. but for now i'm here for you tina and it's ok to be angry or however you feel right now." she's started silent crying so i gave her a hug and told her "i'm sorry mom. i love you." "it's ok teeny tina, i love you too. now let's go inside." we went inside to order; i got cookies and cream ice cream and mom got vanilla with caramel on top. we sat out side and ate our ice cream while having small talk. i don't know if it was the ice cream or mom, probably mom, that made me feel better. i felt more relaxed now. the ride home was quiet but a more comfortable quiet. at home it was around 5:30 but dad and gene were asleep, so me and mom made dinner and then woke them up. me and mom made spaghetti, something simple but warm. gene woke up by the smell but mom had to wake dad up from his snoring. while we were eating dad felt the need to turn it into a pep talk "look kids me and your mom won't be sending you to school the rest of the week but we have to open the restaurant. when louise gets out she'll need a lot of care and it's going to be expensive and the only way to get that will be by working. we can also go to the hospital a few hours after we close but we can't sleep there again. and before you say anything about this being unfair you need to think what your sister needs." me and gene didn't really say anything we just looked at each other and nodded at dad. i don't if gene was trying to tell me something by looking at me but i suppose he'll tell me later if there is something. after dinner mom dad and gene go to watch tv but i go to write in my journal. i need another place to vent i guess. a wave of tiredness hit after about 45 minutes so i closed my journal and hid it away. i was going to sleep but i realized i didn't shower yet, so i showered which ended up taking another 45 minutes meaning i didn't get to bed until 10:00pm. that's the normal time i go to sleep anyways. but not i can't sleep. i don't want to write though so i stare at the ceiling in the dark until i pass out.