Hurt but Healing

Chapter 1

Azariah's pov

I am so excited and happy to go back home and see mum. I have spent the last three years studying to be a nurse I would've taken me longer but with my high IQ at 210 I was put into an advanced class and I really enjoyed it. I'm going back home to my mum and dad I am 21 so when I am able to get a job and money starts coming in I can get a flat of my own. Dad wouldn't let me work while I was studying no even a light part time job he said "you don't need any distractions" I don't see how I would with such a high IQ I'd be able to catch on any missing work if necessary but he doesn't understand that. He doesn't understand anything I don't even feel anything for him he's horrible I hate him, but I love mum and I refuse to leave her with that monster. That's why I went to university and shockingly he paid for it. I think he just wanted me out the house. I don't know what job he does but I know he's wealthy, but whatever it is cant be good he always comes home mad. When I was 12 I remember he came home super mad and he was shouting at me because I hadn't made dinner and mum was sleeping she's a heavy sleeper so she wouldn't have heard anything. I remember he had a beer bottle in his hand and he smashed it against my back and I only had on a thin tank top so it cut deep on my back after that day I saw him in a new light I'm only 5'1 and he's around 5'10-5'11 there was nothing I could really do the more I tried to fight the worse I got he said if I didn't say anything to mu he wouldn't hurt her, but if I did he would and he'd make me watch. Since that at a very young age I was always afraid of him when I see him I can't help but be on edge and try to make everything right even when I did he would find something wrong no matter how small it was. Deep down I think mum knew about what was going on, but never said anything because she was too scared I'd see the way she'd jump when he entered the room and even if he yelled and it wasn't directed and either of us while I would flinch or jump I'd notice that she would do it to. Even when I went home in the holidays he would abuse me but in areas that can't be seen there was times I went days with bruises on my stomach and they hurt like crazy but it's not like I could tell anyone my grandparents died when I was young both my parents are an only child and I have no friends everyone things I'm weird because one I'm tiny and I'm a little when I was staying in the dorms thankfully I had m own room so it was decorated to fit me when I was in little space I had all the stuff I needed I had my sippy cups, bottles, paci's and my bunny Midnight, I've had her since I was little and I don't remember a time without her. My head space is usually around 2-4 sometimes I go into a younger one round 9 months it doesn't happen that often but when it does the most I like to even drink is hot chocolate I love it and hate when It has too much milk I don't like things with too much dairy makes me feel so sick. I'm making my way home and I'm extremely nervous it's dark outside, not many people are out and it's raining extremely heavy. I keep fiddling with my fingers I don't know my dad is going to be when I see him I just hope he's in the right mindset I don't want to deal with him I just want my bed and paci, but because I'm in the taxi I settle with sucking on my thumb. What felt like hours but was really thirty minutes the taxi pulled up to my house and to say the nerves came rushing back was an understatement I paid the taxi man and got out. I walked up to my house and all the lights were off which is strange they're never off. I take my key out my pocket and put it in the door, but it doesn't turn I take it out and try again and it's still not working so I call mum.

"Hello mum I'm outside can you come and get the door please"

"What do you want brat"

I instantly shiver hearing my dad's voice he's the last person I want to talk to right now.

"Dad I'm outside the house can you open the door please its cold and its raining"

"Look you stupid brat me and your mum have gone we no longer live there"

"So where am I going to go I have no where to go and I have no money"

"Figure it the fuck out you stupid hoe do what you was doing whilst in university spreading your legs for any breathing person that would give you the time of day! Me and your mum we don't want you anymore we don't need you. Fuck off and don't even bother calling us you slut we are changing our numbers go cry and complain to someone who cares not that you have anyone anyway you dirty bitch"

With that he hung up and I just looked at my phone in despair what am I going to do now. I've only ever even had sex once and it wasn't all that I didn't even orgasm it was my high school boyfriend that clearly didn't work out. I just sit on my doorstep not knowing what to do maybe I could try and get a job and then I can try and get an affordable flat my chances are slim but it doesn't hurt to try what else can I do I don't want to travel the streets of California all I have in my bag is my elephant blankie, my paci, my bottle and a few sweets. I put Midnight in my pocket I feel better that she's close to me. Now I'm going to have to try and find some shelter, but I don't even know where to start I feel so helpless.

Thank you for reading sorry for any mistakes 

Khalanni xx