Uproar /PJM FF

Special Chapter 2

2.1 feet.  That's the length of a step. One single step, so short, so easy to be made, yet there are people that are trapped all their lives in place unable to take that step. An inhale is all it is. A blink of an eye. You take so many steps a day and you don't even think about them. You don't calculate, yet when you become aware that your life may take a completely different curse because of a single step you could take, you freeze.

The possibility is what spirals your thoughts to chaos. For there exist infinite amounts of possibilities that contain bad outcomes which get into your head before any good can even get a chance to present itself. If I go this way, maybe my life will get worse, if I go the other way, maybe that one will be a disaster, maybe, if... And before you know it, you will find yourself trapped in the claws of fear, tied up from the ribbons of your insecurities as your roots dig into the ground, deeper and deeper, every day that passes in which you remain a coward. You remain passive instead of taking an action, living in your head, with hopes and wishes that will remain only that for as long as you stay still.

A step wasn't supposed to be that difficult to be taken, you make so many every day but the moment your life comes to hand on it, most of us end up becoming standing graves. Souls that long to run free and experience life, in a body that has fallen a prisoner of the fear that reality emits.

Only if someone else could come along, take your hand, reassure you to take that step. Get you to unstack from that place. Free you from your chains. How helpful that would be, for someone else to put the effort and pull you out of the misery you have fallen into. How wishful and hopeful of a thought that was, yet few are to ever be that lucky. 

Few and you definitely never could have brought yourself to imagine yourself being among those lucky few. If you won't make it on your own, then none will ever come for you, for even when you had waited for someone, anyone, you were only left waiting.

However even if one was to come along, willing to help you with your personal issues that they hold no responsibility over, would you have let them in? Would you have accepted their help? Someone who fears taking a step fears way more to trust another human being. So ultimately maybe it wasn't the fault of who never tried to reach out to you, but also the fact that you weren't available no matter who was to do that. You had grown comfortable in your chains. You had gotten used to living in your head, for there you could laugh, and act, however, without having anything to fear.

No one will cast their eyes on you. No one will judge you. No one will make you feel like you are about to faint from pressure by putting requests and expectations on you. In your head, you were free. Free to live life however you wanted. Free to build relationships and bonds that in real life fear would never allow you to. Free to fall in love without risking being shattered to pieces. 

Imagination was the safest and most magical place you possessed and you had enriched it through the years through writing and creating stories. Stories that none should have ever been able to read...Yet...you had made the most terrible mistake ever.

You had sent your story manuscripts by mistake to your  Philosophy Professor. 

A strict professional man whose name was everywhere on the pages of your books, for you had used him as reference for the character you had created. A character that you didn't know if it truly had anything in common with him, but certainly you wouldn't have wanted for him to ever find out about that character's existence.

Time can't turn back for anyone however and that was unfortunate for you, a fact. A fact that carried consequences that you were about to face as Park Jimin had requested for you to go to his office, three days after you had sent him that email.