The Fear of Falling

Chapter Twenty Four

I stood in front of my full-length mirror and lined the bottom of my eyes. All that I knew about pirates came from either vague history lessons or Pirates of the Caribbean.

My crush on Turner remained steadfast.

I adjusted the corset so my tits sat higher and grinned at the result. Without knowing the nature of the party, I would be concerned about being too provocative. Meanwhile, Jade texted me to make sure I had not only an outfit I'd be comfortable in but also one that showed some skin.

Then, she asked if Gavin was tagging along.

Fantastic question.

Although we had talked a little more since the other night, he hadn't been chatty. Now, I was getting ready to attend my first work party by myself. My shoulders dropped at the realization.

Just as I was about to suck it up, Gavin knocked on my open door.

"Can we talk?"

Please.

I shrugged. "Sure."

He strolled into my bedroom with a sheepish grin. His thick silver chains hung around his neck and caught the light with every movement. I did my best not to notice for too long.

"I've been thinking about what you said, and it was shitty to leave in the middle of the night. It just wasn't what it looked like."

I raised my eyebrows. "What was it then?"

"I-" Gavin started and then broke our eye contact. "I had to share a bed for most of my childhood, and it still gets to me sometimes. I didn't leave because I didn't want to be there with you, holding you while you slept. I left because I still have personal stuff to work on."

I fought the urge to ask "like what" and instead reached out to touch his arm. The pang in my heart when I realized his absence was too familiar. "It hurt more because of my personal stuff."

He gave me a slight smile. "I really didn't mean to hurt you, and then I didn't know how to fix the awkwardness. That's why I asked where the milk was."

I shook my head and laughed. "I really don't know where it went."

"I know." Gavin rubbed the back of his neck. "It was probably Fiona."

I could agree with that.

"Well," I cleared my throat. "Thanks for checking with me. It was fun while it lasted."

Gavin tilted his head. "What?"

"This." I gestured between us.

"It's over?"

"Isn't it?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. He had just showered; his slightly damp shirt clung to his body.

"Do you want it to be?" He finally asked with his hands shoved into his pockets. Disappointment clouded his eyes and left me feeling lonely.

I froze, but then the truth came tumbling out. "I don't want to worry about this meaning nothing. That you can just disappear any day and find someone new."

"So, you want to date?" Gavin asked with sincerity.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Dating Gavin? I considered the idea. Falling for him and into his arms seemed pleasant enough, but I knew how relationships worked. Hunter showed me what it feels like to really fall in love and then, hit rock bottom.

I shook my head. Not yet.

Gavin sighed. "Okay, so how about I make you a deal?"

"Yes?"