want. a peter ballad fanfic

9

trigger warning. self harm. blood.

brenner took me and peter to his office. he sat the two of us down and grabbed files. i wondered what he was grabbing.

he turned around and faced us. "i sat you two down to talk. it's time i finally tell you the truth. you two are mature enough, i hope, to know." brenner said.

he handed only me a file. peter looked at me worried. "i have already done this with peter, it is necessary he participates with you since you two are so close. go on, open the file." he said.

i looked up at brenner and looked down at the file. it had my name on it. under my name was my birthday. i flipped open the file and the first thing i saw was a baby picture of me. "i was a cute baby." i said. peter chuckled.

i then sat the photo aside and flipped through more. i saw one that made my stomach drop. my chest immediately got tighter and i couldn't help but sit there and stare at the picture.

"y/n?" peter said

i snapped out of it. the picture was a family photo. the lady in the picture, i assumed was my mother. the man who stood beside her, was brenner. i looked up at brenner. "you-you're my- dad..?" i said. tears stung my eyes. he nodded slowly. peter got up quickly.

"and you punished her like you did the other day? your own daughter!?"

"peter sit down. let her look through more stuff." brenner said. peter sat down angrily. i flipped to another photo. my hands were shaking from finding out who my dad was. i held this picture of me and a boy to brenner. "is this my brother?" i asked.

he shook his head no. "you had a boyfriend."

my heart dropped. peter looked at me in confusion. "you have a boyfriend?" peter asked. "i don't remember. it's like as soon as i walked into this facility, i forgot my past and my memories." i replied.

"i sent a letter to him before you arrived at the lab that you were moving and you were breaking up with him." brenner said.

"what the fuck y/n?" peter said. he got up and started walking out. "peter wait!" i said grabbing his hand. "i didn't know. i promise you. peter i love you and only you." i said.

he snatched his hand away from me and left. i quickly turned around to see brenner standing behind me. he placed his hand on my shoulder. "i'm sorry things are bad for you and peter. i had no intention." brenner said. he brung me in for a hug but i didn't hug him back. i just stood there frozen. "can i go to my room. i feel sick." i said.

brenner nodded and dismissed me. i hurriedly walked to my room, tears flooding my eyes. i stumbled over my feet and nearly tripped myself because i couldn't see anything. i was so blinded by rage and sadness, i didn't take note on who i walked past, who i bumped into.

i felt a familiar touch when i nearly reached my room. it was peter. i bumped into him. i didn't stop though. i walked into my room and slammed my door shut and locked it.

the tears i was holding back walking down the hallway, came flooding down my face. i slid down my door crying. pleading for help. knowing brenner was my dad, i had a boyfriend, now ex. and now peter is mad at me.

SELF HARM MENTION STARTS HERE.
i weakly got up and searched for a sharp object in my room. i found a random shard of glass. i had no idea where it came from but i didn't care. my hands were shaking. i was sobbing uncontrollably. my cries for help were loud.

i whispered to myself.

"i didn't know"

"i'll always love you peter"

"please help me"

"i can't do this without you"

i had officially hit rock bottom.

time skip. i'm not going into detail about sh for mine and your guys safety lol

i dropped the piece of glass on the floor. blood dripping everywhere. my cries got weaker, my breathing got heavier. i soon realized i was falling to the floor. i had passed out.

it was a good 45 minutes later until i woke up in the infirmary. i faintly heard sobbing and saw a figure beside me. "oh god, y/n you're awake thank fuck." the familiar voice said. it was peter.
SELF HARM MENTION ENDS HERE

i got enough strength to spit out a sentence. "i tried telling you- i didn't know-" i said groggily. he stood up and placed his hand on my forehead and stroked it with his thumb. "i know. i know. im so sorry for getting mad at you because i was done the same way i don't remember any of my past. but i was reminded with a meeting and file just like yours."

i looked away from him. "what even is your past anyways." i said. he sighed softly. i looked at him. i noticed he was thinking about something. i was observing him. i noticed he rolled up his sleeve and started unwrapping the wrap on his wrist. "finaaalllyy you're showing me." i said.

he sadly smiled. he finished unwrapping it and i saw a number that read 001. "you-you're- one?" i said. he nodded. "i'll tell you more later, i promise, princess." he said. i just stared at him.

"you don't hate me after i revealed myself to you..right?" he asked.

"of course not..

..

.

i will always love you, peter"

hey guys, i've had such a terrible day today. so this was basically a vent chapter. today was so bad i deleted snapchat and instagram. i'm planning on keeping it that way for a while. but i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm always here.