A way out

''What do you know?''

Rafe's pov:

I was laying on the hotel bed. Smoking a cigarette. On a bed that was probably covered with blood right now from my clothes. I looked to the left at the bedside table. The clock just stroked 1 am. My hand went to the knob of the radio. I slightly smiled when I heard Johnny Cash singing the words of 'You Are My Sunshine.' I loved that song. We loved that song. The most beautiful thing about that song is that you can be happy listening to it, or sad. But now, it sounded like the world was falling apart. Like we were falling apart. A tear stung behind my eyes. I decided to let my head fall back on the cushion and stare at the white ceiling. Trying not to think of anything that was going on right now. If Sarah hadn't been in the shower right now, I probably would have taken some sort of drugs to forget about anything. I would sleep, smoke, do drugs, and sleep again. That, on repeat for the next two weeks. I felt the smoke escaping my nose into the air. I couldn't stand laying here much longer. So without any hesitation, I walked to the bathroom door, opened it without knocking, and started to undress. While unbuckling my belt, I looked into the tiny mirrors that were placed just above the sink. I looked horrible. Dark circles under both my eyes, and pale skin, and there were still some blood in my hair. 

I carefully entered the shower, trying not to frighten her. My eyes looked at her back which was covered with bruises. My teeth immediately clenched together when I thought of him again. ''If I could kill him again, just to make sure you were safe, I'd do it again.'' I said. She turned around. Big hopeless brown eyes were staring into my green ones. For a second she didn't say anything, so I decided to wash my face under the jet of water from the shower. It felt both cold and warm on my skin. I looked at the shower faucet, seeing that the water wasn't warm at all. I turned the knob so the water what felt like ice cold turned into warm water. Sarah was still silent from my words. I know she didn't want me to, but I had no single regret for my actions. 

I ran both my hands through my hair while washing it. ''Can you help me wash off the blood from my neck? I can't see the spots.'' Almost hesitated if I would say it or not. But I did and lucky for me she helped me. I felt her hands mixed with soap brushing against my skin. After doing the front, her hands moved to the side of my neck and so did her body. Moving beside mine. I looked up at the ceiling again, thinking that it might be easier for her to rub it off. 

She stopped. Why did she stop? I turned my head towards her. She was crying. ''Sarah, baby, come here.'' I said as I turned her around so she faced the wall. Her back pressed against my stomach and chest. I slowly let my chin rest on the top of her head. ''What are you scared of?'' I asked her, hoping she would answer in between her sobs. ''Everything.'' She always said that. Everything. ''Can you tell me what everything is Sarah?'' I carefully tried to ask her. She immediately turned around. ''Everything. The future, jail, money...You.'' My eyebrows raised when I heard her saying 'you.' ''Me? Why are you afraid of me?'' She scoffed. ''Rafe you murdered someone. You fucking murdered someone!'' She almost yelled while punching me in the chest. I let her. She was right after all. ''How do I know that you will be okay? How do I know that you don't do it again?! How-'' I stopped her, even though she tried to fight through my tight grip on both her arms. I pressed her against my chest again. ''Sarah,'' I said as my chin rested on the top of her head again. ''Calm down, I'm right here okay?'' Then she buried her head in my chest. ''Don't go to jail okay? Not just yet. I want you here. With us. With me. I want yo-'' I cut her off. ''Hey,'' I said as my hands on her face forced her to look up to me. ''If you want me to stay. I will okay? I promise.'' I said as I gave her a pack on the top of her head. I felt her nodding. 

After standing in the same position for at least ten minutes. Her head was burried in my chest. My arms around her torso. I asked her if I could wash her hair. ''But I already did.'' She told me. ''Even a second time?'' I tilted my head, trying to have a glimpse of her smile. Even the slightest one possible. ''No.'' She then finally said as she shook her head and sniffed. ''Can I have the honor to wash it? For the second time?'' She almost giggled as she agreed. One corner of my mouth raised when I saw her smiling even for one second. She turned around facing the wall as my hands rubbed the shampoo through her hair. I made sure the shampoo was divided everywhere. From the roots to the ends. Even her shoulders which I couldn't resist to kiss. Sarah always tilted her head when I did that 'cause it tickled. She told me. So this time she did it again. I giggled feeling her head pressed against the side of mine. ''Rafe that tickles you know that.'' She told me again as she turned around, facing me. I sighed while tugging a string of shampooed hair behind her right ear. ''It sure does.'' I said as I pressed my lips on her forehead