Redamancy | Elena Gilbert

Chapter 27

Elena was understandably distraught.

She'd asked Rosalind to take her back to the school. At first, Rosalind thought she'd left something there. Maybe the headband she'd been wearing was still in the gym.

But she marched straight to Alaric's classroom and began tearing through it, shoving his weapons into duffel bags.

"Elena," said Rosalind gently. "I can come with you and do this tomorrow morning, if you'd like. You ought to get some rest."

"No," replied the doppelgänger, pushing piles of stakes into the duffel. "I'd rather get it over with now before some janitor comes to clean out Alaric's stuff and realizes the history teacher was a vampire slayer."

"No janitors are coming until tomorrow at midday, perhaps we ought to give it a night before—"

"I can't," said Elena, her lips trembling. "I can't go and rest anywhere. I need to do this now, because I don't want to be able to think of anything else. I can't think about the fact that Jeremy and I don't have anyone to take care of us any more or that we've lost another friend, I just, I can't think about any of it."

Rosalind grabbed onto her shoulders, stopping her just before she cut her hand on the edge of a knife. "Elena..." she slid her hands up to cup her face. "You're going to hurt yourself and I don't want that to happen. Please, sit down."

Elena sank onto the ground, tears running down her face. "I don't have anyone any more. I don't... I've got no one..."

"That's not true." Rosalind sank down beside her. "Jeremy is still here. So is Matt. Caroline, Bonnie, Tyler, Stefan, and Damon. And me. I'm still here. I am so sorry, Elena. I'm sorry that this has happened all over again. If I could change things, I would. Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to, I can't control what has already happened. But what I am in control of right now is how I help you through this and as someone who's lost a lot of people too, I can tell you that you are not okay, and you shouldn't be here. It's okay to just let yourself cry for a night before you pack everything up, Elena. It's okay to break down completely. You don't need to seek out distractions or try to move on with life right away. Avoiding the pain will only hurt you more. Hey..." she brushed her knuckles over her cheek. "Breathe. Breathe..."

She gasped several times before managing to follow Rosalind, breathing deeply along with her lead. "I miss him," she choked out. "He's not even dead and I miss him."

"I know," said Rosalind, pulling her into her arms to caress her head. "I know, and you're going to miss him tomorrow, and the day after that. Even more in a week and a month. But eventually it hurts less. You will see him again, one day. And you'll get to tell him all about the things you accomplished. You'll tell him you became a doctor like your dad. With a kind heart like your mom and Aunt Jenna. You'll have... a perfect, clean little house. Three kids and two very spoiled dogs..."

Elena managed a weak laugh, wiping her eyes. "And what if I don't? What if I don't see him?"

"There is peace out there," murmured Rosalind. "I know it. There has to be. We can't possibly live in this world where peace doesn't exist. Alaric will be at peace. He's at peace with his decision. And you will be at peace, too."

"I don't want to be here anymore," admitted Elena. "I just want to take Jeremy and leave. Start fresh somewhere else. And I know my parents wouldn't want that, but this town... Matt's right. It's messed up, and we shouldn't have to live this way. I just don't even know where I'd start. How I'd leave or where I would go."

"There are ways," said Rosalind quietly. "Klaus was talking to me today about wanting to leave. So there's that option. You and Jeremy could come with us. He thinks he's interested in going to New Orleans. The hybrids would protect you both, and you could have a true, fresh start. A new school, new people. It can be for a little while or for a long while. You've been through so much, Elena, it's okay to decide that you need to step away from it. Alaric, Jenna, your parents, they'd all want you to take control of your own fate and do what makes you and Jeremy happy. Do what will bring you peace in this existence."