Rogue

3: Last Resort

I lied to Blake.

Going back out there was the very last thing I wanted to do. I was tired of putting on a strong front and pretending like nothing was wrong. My entire life was ruined in an instant, and the person at fault was probably out there right now. There was no way Alex was going to receive any sort of punishment today, not when he's the Beta Apparent. More important than anything was keeping the entire pack happy. I wasn't anyone special.

For a while I laid curled up in bed, just listening to the sounds of the pack below. But random aches and pains would randomly spasm through my body, making it way too uncomfortable to lie still, so I eventually got up and used the tree close to my window to escape into the forest. Using the front door was basically walking straight into the thick of the party, and I didn't want anyone–namely the Alpha or Elder Samson–to see me leave.

The moon was full, a very auspicious day for an 18th birthday, and the forest was well lit by the moonlight. Staying well within the pack borders I walk around until I could no longer bear the pain my body was going through. It was a strange pain I had never felt before, as if my body was at war with itself, and seemed to come from my chest. When I touch the spot where Alex's Mark was, I realize it's burning hot and inflamed.

I didn't even notice when the tears began to fall. One moment I was walking, and the next I was curled up against a tree sobbing my heart out. Not even the soothing moonlight helped.

Midnight was when the Goddess' powers peaked. It was why we celebrated 18th birthdays at night, why we shifted and searched for our Mate at that hour. And on the full moon her powers doubled. It would be practically impossible to not feel the pull of a Mate, no matter how far they were. No matter if they were Marked by someone else or not.

He felt it as strongly as I did. Minutes after midnight I hear the soft pad of his approaching footsteps, and curl tighter into myself. Half of me refused to accept what was happening. I wanted the entire day to be a dream and any moment I would wake up to find out it was still the morning of his birthday.

I didn't lift my head even though I knew he was standing right in front of me. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my skin, ruffling my hair. He whined once, very softly, but I couldn't move. More tears just stream from my eyes. The sound of him shifting reached my ears, and then his hands found their way to my face as he lifted my head up. My eyes lock with his, the moonlight easily reflecting the sadness with the hazel that made them seem greener than usual. A sob hitched in my throat. I want to look away but am locked in place. It felt so good, yet everything hurt so much.

"Robin." He breathed. "Oh, Robin..."

"I'm sorry. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry–"

"Shh, it's okay." He pulled me into his arms and held my head to his chest, rocking slowly back and forth as I cried. "It's not your fault, Robin. It's not, so don't apologize ever."

We stay like that for a long while as I cry. It seemed like a torrent of endless tears with no end in sight, and Blake held me through it all. But eventually the tears slowed down and came to a stop. I was suddenly hit with the realization that Blake was butt naked and tried to pull away as my cheeks heated, but he didn't let me move too far from him.

"Ar–Are you...okay?"

I shake my head miserably. "Just do it. Get it over with."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't be your Mate, Blake! The pack would never accept me anyways and this stupid Mark would just make things more difficult for you." I try to push him away but he was too strong. "You deserve someone better. Someone worthy to stand next to you as Luna."