Rogue

4: Alpha's Remorse

Alpha Elijah:

The Alpha's office was passed down from father to son, and as a child I spent much of my time in here getting berated by my father. He'd lean against the heavy desk and lecture me for hours and hours as I sat with my head bowed in front of him.

Right now, I was feeling much like that little kid again.

It didn't take long for him to realize something was wrong, and soon after Blake took off into the forest he grabbed me and dragged me into the office. He was going to find out soon enough, so I told him everything that happened earlier. Suffice to say, he was not happy.

"This was going on under your nose the entire time?" He snarled.

"I don't know, dad." I drop my head into my hands. " What Alex has done...how long it's been going on...I know nothing."

I hear him move over to the bar, pour himself a glass, and then one for me. He slammed the cup on the table next to me and returned to the desk.

"This is not the sort of Alpha I raised you to be, Elijah." The disappointment in his voice was evident. "Maintaining a pack of this size requires a firm hand and an attentive eye. Being an Alpha is not some fun job, Elijah, it's the responsibility of peoples lives."

The urge to remind him that I never wanted this position in the first place welled up and I had to swallow it down. That would set him off without a doubt. I just wanted the pack to have the freedom I had craved under my father's reign. But maybe I was too lenient.

Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be an Alpha.

I failed someone who was under my care, who lived in my house. And even worse, I broke the promise I made to Robin's mother all those years ago, long before she was taken from this world.

Nirobi. The only woman I ever felt like I truly loved. Of course I love my Mate, but our union was the Goddess' doing not of my own will. My love for Nirobi was a hundred percent natural to me.

We met when we were children and I was instantly infatuated. So much so that I was adamant that she was my Mate. I daydreamed of the day I could officially claim her as mine, tell her stories of what it would be like for us leading the pack together. She liked me just as much as I liked her. I wanted her to be my Luna.

My father of course disapproved of our relationship and as I got older he eventually banned me from seeing Nirobi. The first time I ever directly disobeyed him was when I decided he couldn't stop me from seeing her. I was so sure she was my Mate. Nothing could keep me from her. Then my eighteenth birthday came and I didn't find my Mate–not in her or anyone else in the pack. It was disappointing but I was happy that I could at least stay with her. I hadn't even considered the possibility of her finding her Mate, until she found him on her own birthday. Some Warrior guy. I couldn't even be mad about it.

Soon after the winter solstice came, followed by the annual Alpha gathering. Since I was eighteen I was eligible to attend and it was my first introduction as the Alpha Apparent to the other Alphas. It was there that I met my Mate.

Unlike our Moonscape pack that passed the Alpha title from father to son, the Redmoon pack passed the Alpha title from parent to strongest child. They had two children in the running for Alpha Apparent, both women, and one of them was my Mate. Sienna.

Sienna was almost everything an Alpha could ask for in a Mate and Luna. Strong, intelligent, attractive She just wasn't a very affectionate person. And she always carried a little animosity towards me because she believed I snatched her away from her position as Alpha to become a housewife. I can't say I didn't despise her a little, for not being Nirobi. But neither of us had a justifiable reason to reject another and our bond recognition happened in front of all of the Alphas of our coalition. There was little else that could be done besides Mate.