Rogue

16:

ALEX

I stood nervously in front of Robin's old room, twiddling my fingers as I tried to think of the best way to talk to the kids. Despite my love of children, I never actually learned how to...well, interact with them. The only people ever younger than me who I really spoke to were only Robin and Blake, any younger and I couldn't even give a name. Then Astoria was born, but Blake kept my interactions with her as minimal as possible even though she was strangely obsessed with me. But even still, the two in that room were my own flesh and blood, my seed the Goddess and Robin had so graciously given me. Me--who deserved such a miracle the least of anyone. And they looked so much like him at that age that it hurt my heart. 

The day I first met Robin, I had known he would be my end. Only five years old and he had already ensnared my gaze with his beauty. It wasn't much long after that he took my heart too. He was sweet and quiet, but by no means was he ever gentle. A fiesty streak ran through strong, and it always showed in peculiar ways. Even after I did those horrible atrocities to him, that fire never dimmed. Everything he did made me love him more and more, even when he hated me. I was afraid of my father and I was afraid of my feelings, so I locked them away and did everything I could to make him hate me. If he hated me then maybe I would love him less, I told myself. But all he has to do is look at me, and I crumbled. His hate only made his unfathomable blue eyes sparkle prettier. I was sick in the head back then. Maybe I'm still sick in the head now. Maybe I shouldn't have anything to do with the kids. What if I fuck up? What if they hate me and never want to see me again?

"Ryder says get in here before you have a panic attack."

I looked down and locked gazes with hazel-red eyes framed by dark brown hair flecked with gold. Rebel, my own little twin as Robin called her. When I didn't respond she rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand to pull me into the room. Ryder was sitting on the bed, knees tucked into his chest, while he skimmed through Robin's favorite book--'How to Kill a Mockingbird'. My heart tugged. Ryder could've passed as Robin's clone. They looked exactly alike, moreso than he and Rebel did.

"Uh..." I said dumbly, and Ryder looked up. My heart melted when he smiled at me.

"We're okay, you know." He said soothingly. "We know mum has special powers and that he sometimes goes to the other side."

"Um..."

Rebel giggled. "Do you think we broke him?"

Ryder stood and approached me. "He's still panicking."

"So how do we make him stop, then?"

"Dunno." Ryder shrugged. Then he grabbed my hand and led me over to the bed. I sat on autopilot, my gaze switching between the two. Robin was always here too when I was around them, what if he didnt want me near them when he wasnt close by?

Rebel's expression became curious and her hand rose. "What if I slap him?"

"You can't slap our dad, idiot." Ryder smacked her hand.

"What's your genius idea then, doofus?" Rebel smacked his arm in retaliation.

I blinked as they both growled and crouched. Uh oh...they weren't ten yet but nine and a half was damn close enough for their wolves to be surfacing. Plus all the stress they've been dealing with lately...I do think fighting is a great way to relieve stress but I don't think Robin would agree and I'm kind of fond of my hide. I stood just as they launched themselves at one another, grabbing them by their shirts and holding them away from each other. They growled and spat and fought my grip, their eyes lasered only on one another. I let out a deep, loud growl to catch both their attentions, stopping only when they were both looking at me with wide, shocked eyes.