Rogue

17:

Yall knew I couldnt give up on yall like that ~AN~

Robin

A sea of eyes locked back at me as I stood before the Moonscape pack once again. No, not the Moonscape pack...my pack. I was their Alpha now. And because of that there was a certain anticipation, an expectation coming from the crowd to prove myself worthy of being their leader. Beating up and banning Blake wasn't enough. Getting the approval of not only the Father's but of the Goddess herself with her gift, was not enough.

No, the eyes that looked at me was from my peers. The very people who watched and laughed as I was bullied by Alex for years. Now Alex was cowed and subservient, here I am acting all mighty because my dad just so happened to be an Elder. He wasn't even my blood father. I could tell that was what they were all thinking. That was certainly what tipped the scale for those who decided to leave. Most were single, able bodied men and a few women. Those who remained, who laughed at me as a child, now had children of their own; children who needed protecting because now the whole pack knew of the impending danger of Jagger's pack raiding us for revenge. Danger was eminent and the leader who they knew was strong, who was meant to be their Alpha was gone. Taking quite a chunk of strong men along with him.

Who was I, the rogue who had been gone for eleven years? How could I protect them when I could hardly protect myself? What sense was it that all these bad things began after my appearance?

Honestly, I was on their side. I didn't know if I could protect them. I didn't know if I could lead them, or inspire them, or give them hope. All I knew, is that I wanted to sleep. I was tired. I was literally spiritless. And I certainly was not focused.

After I was given a clean bill of health and took a much needed shower, I attempted to transform into my wolf. It was successful, proving Swift Wind's imprisonment didn't impede my abilities despite only having them because of his existence. And I already know I still had his shamanic abilities. That gave me a boost of confidence but that fizzled out in the light of not having Swift Wind beside me. He was there since my birth, providing me with a level of cognizance an infant couldn't have possibly had. Every step I took, every obstacle I've ever overcame, has been through Swift Wind's guidance. Of course, there were many things I did on my own and even more things he didn't agree with. But when I needed support, he was there. When I needed someone to talk to, he was there. When I couldn't save myself from the overwhelming darkness always threatening to consume me in a cloud of depression and trauma, he was the light guiding me back.

It literally ached to know he was within reach, but not be able to speak to him or feel his presence. Who was I without him? How could I function without him? Even now, when I had no words, he would know exactly what to say to appease the pack and gain their trust and inspiration. It wasn't even hard; a pack will always follow their words of their Alpha. But they didn't trust me, and that made more than enough of a difference. I was practically a stranger to them, and the ones familiar with me knew the weak version that bent under Alex's will. How could I prove to them that I had the strength and will to lead and protect them?

"Alpha..." Reese's voice fluttered through my mind. "I know bein'' friendly ain't exactly your strong suit, but you gotta say something."

I glanced over to him from his position at my right, two steps behind me as his title as my Beta dictated. Back home we didn't have such rules. My pack was as equal to me as I was to them. Reese never had to walk behind me, and often went ahead of me without any permission or command. I didn't care; he was my family. So was Sara and Yvonne, and of course Connor. They have all been with me everyday for the last ten years, parenting my children and protecting one another. But my pack was extended now, and even though most of the people still waiting for me to do or say something have known me for much longer than I've been gone, they only know the child who ran away and not the man even Jagger didn't mess with.

So I guess, it was time to show that man to them.

"I understand why many of you have your reservations about me." I spoke loudly with more confidence than I felt. "Most of you know who I am, many of you grew up with me. I was weak. I was a crybaby. I was bullied. And now I stand here as your Alpha. I know you all have your pride as a traditional wolf pack, but I have been the Alpha of my rogue pack for ten years. They are my family, and now so are all of you. And as your family, I will be completely honest with you...I have no guarantee that I can do my job perfectly. I can't make you any promises. All I can offer you is my strength and resources, and humbly beg that you put your trust in me.

"Under normal circumstances we would have all the time in the world to become more familiar with one another and you all could build trust in me at your own pace. But Jagger is certainly preparing to attack, and that can happen any day. By now I am sure he knows I am here and that has no doubt caused him to reconsider his plan of attack. I am familiar with the tactics his pack uses, and have good faith in another pack supporting us when the time for war comes. I'm not asking you to trust me yet, but were I not capable then I wouldn't stand before you all now. Have faith in that."

I finished my speech using the Alpha link connecting me to all the pack members, proving I was certainly their Alpha even if they didn't accept me quite yet. It had the desired effect, silence reigning for a long heartbeat before hushed murmurs broke out through the crowd. I took a step back and allowed them to consult amongst each other. Ruling them with an iron fist, while effective, would do me no justice. Letting them know I was here for them, willing to put the past behind me completely and devote myself one hundred percent to them, made space for them to have options. And if they had any sense, they would pick the safer one.

Elders Elijah and Samson gave me identical approving, proud looks. Reese squeezed my arm and Yvonne winked at me. Sara and Connor were with the twins in the main house, watching from my room. I didn't want them near in case things didn't go well and a riot broke out. Queen Lilith gave me a subtle two thumbs up and beside her Alex...his face was carefully blank but his eyes were intense and shone bright with a strange adoration as our eyes locked. A weird warmth curled down my spine and settled in my lower belly, causing me to shift uncomfortably. Turning my focus back to my pack, I noted the crowd shifting and splitting as a tall strong figure slowly made his way to the front.

Vance Hilder was two years older than me and Alex, so he was somewhat familiar with what went on at school and within the pack. He didn't participate, but also did nothing to stop it despite easily being one of, if not the, biggest person in the pack while in his human form. In wolf form the Alpha was usually the biggest, but having seen both Blake and Vance's wolf forms when we were teenagers I'm sure Vance easily gave Blake a run for his money. How much he has grown and whether my wolf was bigger than his was left to be determined. And apparently that's what he wanted to find out as well going by the determined look in his eyes. His right arm bore the black swirling patterns of the Warriors mark burned right into his skin with an iron brand. If we fought evenly his fighting skillset would easily overpower mine. But I had the skills of a shaman and the blessing of the Goddess.

I stepped forward and met his gaze steadily, ignoring the fact that I had to crane my neck a bit. A spark lit in his eyes and he nodded once approvingly.

"If you can best me in a fight," Vance rumbled out with his deep baritone, "I will accept you as my Alpha without question."

So this was my test, my way to prove myself to everyone. Vance was their champion and in defeating him I would receive not only his, but the acquiescence of the rest of the pack. I straightened my back.

"Challenge accepted."

~~~

Am I back? Will I disappear for another 3 years? Tune in next week to find out!

I do know where the story is going and how it ends, and even have the next part lined up (it's a surprise tho as far as werewolf stories go i mean take a guess who the next story will focus on lol) I've just had really bad writer's block as far as how this chapter was gonna play out. Sometimes the only way to get rid of it is to go out and live. Life is the greatest inspiration we have.

No promises mkay love yall tho *kissy face*