Separate ways lead to the same place

Chapter 5

~The next morning, Zoe's point of view~

I haven't really slept last night. I don't hate people, I never have, but the way I feel about Bartolomew right now comes very close. I don't know how I could've been so blind to date that guy. We were friends for around six months before we were together. When we were officially together, he completely changed. That was three years a go. I don't know how I did it, but I kept up with that pig for three years. I'll be happy when he stops contacting me, he's still blowing up my phone. I guess I'll just block him everywhere. I take my phone and do just that, sighing when I see his name dissappear after I pressed delete. I just feel so angry that he treated me so badly and I let him. I just need to get him out of my head. 'Cut' I just can't stand him anymore. 'Cut' I can still see his arrogant face in front of me, bleh! 'Cut' The look he always had when he looked at me as if I just wasn't good enough for him. 'Cut' Well, I won't have to deal with him ever again. 'Cut' I really want to stop thinking about him. 'Cut' I'll ask Ethan to distract me when he comes back from work tonight. 'Cut' I think I'm good until he comes back, I only need to wait for 4 more hours. 'Cut' 'Cut' I just need to tell myself Batholomew doesn't exist anymore and I'll be fine. 'Cut' 'Cut' 'Cut' I put the knife down and lick my fingers clean. I put the pieces of my apples in a bowl and walk to the living room, sitting down on the couch. I turn on the tv and look for a movie to put my mind off of things.

~4 hours later, Ethan's point of view~

When I'm done working, I pick up some pizzas for dinner and get to Zoe's appartment. I walk up the stairs and take the spare key that Zoe gave me to open the door. Inside, it's dead silent, except for the tv playing some calm music. I follow the sound and see Zoe, staring off in the distance, with a book on her lap and spotify on the tv. ''What's wrong?'' I say, concern taking over while I walk towards her and sit down on the couch next to her. She wakes up from her daydream, looking at me and smiling:''Nothing. Did you bring something to eat? I'm starving!'' I don't believe her, but let it slide. ''I brought pizza. Do you still eat cheese? I remember that used to be your favorite.'' She smiles:''Yes, that's still my favorite. How did you remember?'' ''We were together for five years, although it wasn't in one go. I know you through and through. Now, how long have you been inside?'' I ask, knowing she probably stayed in all day and yesterday too. She looks down and mumbles quietly:''2 days a go, why?'' I sigh deeply, but get an idea:''Put on your shoes and a jacket. I want to show you something.'' She frowns, but does just that. We take the pizzas and some cans with sprite. Zoe closes the door and we run down the stairs, step in my car and drive away. I decided to take Zoe here, because I have found my peace there. I visited the place every night since I came to London just a few days a go. I think I'll go there every night, because it's very pretty there and I really feel good there. Zoe seems to have lost herself, so that's why I'm taking her to the place I feel like myself the most. After 10 minutes of driving, I park the car at the forest and look to my side to see Zoe scanning the surroundings with confusion evident on her face. ''Follow me, I'll show you my favorite place.'' We exit the vehicle and take the food and drinks. Then I lead the way. We don't have to walk for long, after only 5 minutes, we reach a small hill in the middle of a clearing in the forest. I look at Zoe and smile at her reassuringly, offering my hand to get her up the hill. She smiles and thanks me, taking my hand. We sit down on top of the hill. When I look at Zoe, my smile grows bigger. She's staring at the night sky with adoration and surprise. ''This is beautiful! How did you find this place?'' She looks at me again while asking the question. I shrug:''I went for a walk the first night I got here. I have a spot like this in Eyemouth, a place where I can see the stars. I really like them, you know? The stars are so pretty. I like to think that every star resembles a person. Those people look out for the people on earth. They give you a light when the world is dark at night. This is the place I go to whenever I need some peace, I always come back to myself at these kind of places. It makes me connect to who I am and who I want to be. That's why I took you here. A breakup can make you lose yourself, so I thought I could take you here and you could reflect on yourself and find yourself again. I know it's stupid, I just...'' ''No, it's not stupid at all! I love this place. It's really thoughtful of you to take me here. Thank you for sharing this with me. Do you go to one of these places often?'' She asks, turning to me. ''Every night since last year. There was so much happening and I needed peace, I needed time to reflect and stay true to myself. Since I started doing it every night, it became a habit. I can't sleep without doing it. The night I came to London, I searched for a similar place to where I went in Eyemouth, because I knew I wouldn't be sleeping without going somewhere quiet and looking at the stars to recollect myself.'' I don't look at her while talking, I instead open a can of Sprite and open my box with my pizza in it. I take a piece and put it in my mouth, looking up at the night sky. ''Are those events the reason you moved to London?'' She asks, catching me off guard. When my dad died when I was 7, me and Zoe were together. She wanted to help me, but I closed off. I remember staying in my room for days, some days I'd eat the food mom brought in because it was necessary and my body was desperate for food, but most of the time, she came in to check in on me and found the food untouched and cold. That went on for about a month. When I went back to school, my friends didn't recognise me: I had bags under my eyes, wasn't chubby anymore, my shoulder slumped and my clothes wrinkled. My grades went down and Zoe? Zoe didn't speak to me for about two months. I guess she was too freaked out. After those two months, I started to come out of my shell a little, although I started getting some nightmares now and then and I just felt sad very often. Zoe helped me to look at life more positively again. She also developed a strong relationship with my mom, making her parents help us out from time to time, getting us out of the house. We got through it. Now I have to tell Zoe my mom got sick. I don't want to, but she asked so... ''Ethan? What happened?'' Zoe asks, fear evident in her voice. I look up at her:''Mom got sick. She healed a few months a go, but we had a tough year. I always dreamed about going to London, but I gave up on that dream because I was afraid of leaving mom alone. When she got sick, that fear got stronger and I took care of her. When she got better, she told me to follow my dreams, as she's following hers. She made a B&B in our house. Business is going quite well, as I say so myself.'' ''I'm sorry you had to go through that, Ethan. Your dad was sick too, wasn't he?'' ''Yes, I did think about that when mom was sick, but if I hadn't gone to the place in Eyemouth just like this, I would've lost hope. I had to be there for mom, I couldn't lose hope, I couldn't give up.'' I feel tears starting to form in my eyes, so I look down to hide it. ''Hey,'' Zoe says, putting her hand on my cheek to grab my attention,''You don't always have to be strong, Ethan. It's okay to feel like you can't go further anymore. It's okay to cry, it makes you stronger and it can feel so relieving. I feel like you've kept everything inside since your dad got sick. You never seemed weak since then, even when you looked like a walking corpse at school. You're so strong, Ethan, crying or letting go isn't going to change that. I'll always look at you and see a person that's been through a lot, but keeps carrying other people's weights on his shoulders, although you don't have to.'' I lean into her touch and close my eyes, feeling the first tear slip through my eyelids and make its way down my face. Before I realise it, I'm sobbing and crying in Zoe's arms, feeling as vulnerable as ever. Zoe says nothing and plays with my hair, calming me down and letting me get everything out. When I calmed down, I pull back and look away, feeling embarrased for breaking down like this while we came here for her. ''I'm sorry, I shouldn't do that.'' ''Hey, it's fine, everyone needs that from time to time. You don't have to feel ashamed for showing emotions, it's good that you let it out. Let's eat our pizza, before it's frozen,'' she changes subject and eats her pizza. We stay in silence for a long time, enjoying the environment, the food and each others' company. ''How is it back in Eyemouth? I've been here for 3 years and I haven't been back once. Has it changed?'' Zoe asks. We're lying on the grass gazing up at the stars. ''It hasn't changed at all. Everything's the same. Except our old elementary school? The principal resigned and then the teachers got replaced and before you could ask what they were going to change next, they planted a new building and built a new playground. All concrete and the buildings are like boxes: flat roof, no character. All the rest has stayed the same. Why haven't you gone back?'' I turn my head to look at Zoe as I hear her sigh deeply. ''I don't have an ideal home situation either. I have an argument with my parents which is why I moved to London. The argument is about my brother, who is disabled. My parents have raised him to be independant. He is, but he's doing too much and putting his health at an even bigger risk, since he can fall very easily. I always tried to make them see the problem at hand, but they won't listen and it makes me frustrated and sad, so I decided to hold all the worry in, but it created distance and tension. One day I snapped and it led to a heated argument due to all the tension that had built up over time, so I decided I wasn't going to look at my brother getting sicker, so I left. I haven't talked to my parents or brother since. It's hard, but I really don't want my brother to die in front of me. It's a way to protect myself, but my parents think it's selfish. Is it so wrong to cut myself off from people that are going to hurt me eventually? I know they're family but it doesn't feel right to stay with them. So I distanced myself from them.'' She doesn't look at me while talking, but plays with the grass next to her, looking up to the sky. ''I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I just know it'll be okay. With or without them. Just look at the amazing person you've become! Wether you'll reconnect with them one day or not, you'll be okay,'' I reassure her. ''Thank you, Ethan, you'll be okay too,'' she answers, glancing at me for a second before focusing on the galactic spotlights again. ''Let's head back, it's late. My place or your place?'' I ask, sitting up and looking down at her. ''Your place is closer, isn't it?'' She asks, sitting up too. I nod, opening another can of Sprite and taking a sip. We stand up and take our trash with us, heading back to my car. Only 20 minutes later, I'm in my bed, feeling all types of ways. I let the sleep wash over me and feel how my eyes slowly close, making me sink away in a dreamless sleep.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

xxxDieuwke

Word count: 2235