Separate ways lead to the same place

Chapter 22

~Two days later, Zoe's point of view~

I'm staring at the honey brown living room floor. I woke up several times last night, so when I woke up for the fifth time I decided to start my day instead. I got dressed, made coffee and sat down on the new living room floor, where I'm still sat right now. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but my mug is empty and the sun has been out for a while. I should get started on the kitchen. I stand up, take my empty mug and enter the old kitchen. We're renovating the room in the next few days. The bathroom will be renovated by the guy we hired for it at the same time. Since we won't have those fecilities in the next week or so, we're staying at Olivia's place. We'll come back here every morning to work on the kitchen and whatever else we can get done later this week. I rub my eyes in exhaustion and decide to take a walk to think. I put on my shoes and jacket, put my keys and phone in the big pocket at the front of my cerulean blue hoodie and get out the door, locking it behind me before making my way down the six flights of stairs. I make a few left and right turns until I reach a little park-like field. It's never that busy, which makes it a perfect place when I want some fresh air and much needed peace. There's a thin fog hanging above the ground, giving the little field a magical feeling. I sigh deeply and feel the fresh air fill my lungs. I smile at the peaceful atmosphere; I really needed this! I've been feeling a little tense lately, I don't know. Ethan and I don't really have these spontaneous conersations anymore. I feel like there's this tension between us, a kind of invisible wall that creates an unsettling distance between us. I'm not sure, but I think it's because we have reached a point in our relationship where those heavier subjects haven't been discussed and all the lighter subjects have been. I'm scared to get in a fight over it. I know we'll eventually have to talk about it, but the fear keeps me from initiating the conversation. I don't want the tension to build up and get in a useless fight about a little thing that represented the metaphorical last drop. Yet on the other hand, I'm not really looking forward to a serious conversation and get in a more serious fight. I think this is the point people talk about when they talk about the point where the spark was gone. When most people get that feeling of distance and feel like they have lost the spark, they just break up. I don't want to be that couple. I don't want to lose Ethan. Besides, there is a chance that I'm just overthinking and imagining this whole distance thing. Maybe we're fine. Sadly, the only way to find out is to ask him. A deep sigh escapes my lips. Why is love so hard sometimes? Why can't it just be easy? I think everyone has asked themselves these questions. No one has the answers, though. Well, that's just the way the world works.

My phone buzzes in the back pocket of my black skinny jeans, where I had put it when I walked down the stairs. It pulls me back to reality and urges me to look at the electronic screen that shows me an incoming call from Ethan. I slide the green button up to accept the call of the boy that has clouded my mind and warmed my heart every day for the past time.

The conversation
(-Ethan AND •Zoe)

• I thought you'd sleep until noon.
- I never sleep until noon! But where are you, Honey?
• In the little park with the field with the little hill in the middle?
- Oh, that park! When are you coming back?
• I think in about twenty minutes. I'm sorry for not leaving a note or something, I really thought I would be back before you'd wake up. Did you find the pancakes I left in the fridge?
- There are pancakes in the fridge?!
• Baked them myself.
- You are amazing! My god, there are so many! I love you so much!
• I love you, Baby. Enjoy your pancakes. I'll be home in twenty.
- Thank you, Honey. See you soon!
• Bye Baby.

I put the phone back in my back pocket and smile. The love of a man really goes through the stomach! I think it's best if I initiate the conversation this afternoon, a few hours before we leave to Olivia's place. I think I'd feel so much better if we talked about this distance that's been forming between us. I just don't want it to get in the way and keep us from being as close as we've been since we got together again. I make my way towards the edge of the field to get on the street to get home. I make the same left and right turns until I reach our appartment building. I open the heavy front door and start walking up the flights of stairs that distance me from the probably heavy conversation I'm about to start today.