Leave Me In Ruins

This won't change anything

The words on the page in front of Derek were meaningless to him as his mind wandered. He closed his eyes, pressing his finger and thumb to them as he pulled in a deep breath. He wasn't getting anywhere with his research. Memories of whiskey brown eyes and full lips kept distracting him.

He slammed the book shut, shoving it across the table in frustration. Pushing the memory of Stiles away, he checked his phone. The pack would start arriving soon. He had to get himself together. He wondered if Stiles would give anything away. Had he managed to get Derek's scent off of him? He hadn't received any frantic phone calls saying that Scott knew. Had Stiles managed to keep what they'd done to himself all day? Derek knew he'd been with Scott, going over Lydia's dream and talking to Deaton.

Stiles' words echoed in his mind.

"I recognize that we made a mistake."

Derek closed his eyes again, this time letting out a heavy sigh. It had been a mistake. He'd taken advantage of Stiles while he was in a delicate spot. He was only lonely. He'd said as much. And then the joke...

Derek scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Derek, this can't change anything."

Derek glanced to the couch where he'd kissed Stiles for the first time. He pursed his lips together as if he could conjure the feeling.

"I just need you to tell me this isn't gonna change anything."

Derek had smelled the worry on Stiles. He would act like nothing had happened and hoped that Stiles was able to do the same, because he too feared what might change between them. Derek trusted very few people the way he trusted Stiles and to lose that— he couldn't do it.

The sound of voices in the hall pulled his mind from its reeling. The pack was starting to arrive. He pulled in a deep breath before letting it out. He knew how to mask his emotions. He'd spent years doing it. What was another one?

-

Stiles was quiet while Erica and Scott tossed theories back and forth with Boyd giving his opinion every once in a while. He was too worried about seeing Derek for the first time since this morning.

"Why so quiet?" Erica poked Stiles' shoulder from beside him.

"Just processing," he answered vaguely. She didn't have to know he was processing what had happened between him and Derek.

Thankfully, she didn't pry. Instead continuing to shoot down every possible theory Scott came up with. Not that Stiles blamed her. Lydia's dream being a memory from a past life wasn't exactly a great theory. Not when she was the walking definition of harbinger of death.

"Maybe Derek has better theories," Scott sighed, leaning back in defeat.

"Doubt it. He and Stiles didn't find anything last night," Erica countered.

Stiles swallowed. Hoping to hell that they didn't pick up on any nerves in his scent.

He couldn't afford to be nervous. What was there to be nervous about? Them finding out? If they hadn't smelled Derek on him yet, there would be no finding out. Derek wouldn't say anything and he sure as hell wasn't saying anything.

He wondered if Derek would act like nothing had happened. That was Stiles' plan. Act as natural as possible. He couldn't let this change anything between them. He'd worked so hard to get where he was with Derek. They were actually friends. Derek trusted him, openly. He couldn't let one night of weakness ruin that.

-

The door opened and the first thing that hit Derek was the smell of peroxide and dish soap. He had to hold back a grimace as he realized it was Stiles. He'd managed to mask Derek's scent.

Derek's stomach twisted at the idea of Stiles scrubbing away his touch.

"Hey, Derek, you look tired." Erica grinned as she threw herself onto the couch.

"Long night," Derek answered pointedly, careful not to look at Stiles.

"Apparently."

Derek frowned before tossing a glance to Stiles who was heading straight for the kitchen.

"I told them we were up half the night but didn't find anything," he called over his shoulder.

Derek noted the ease at which Stiles spoke. It wasn't technically a lie. But he seemed so...unbothered. Like last night hadn't actually happened.

"Deaton didn't have anything either," Scott said, taking a seat next to Erica.

"Maybe there's nothing to find." Boyd shrugged.

"Maybe," Stiles said doubtfully, returning from the kitchen with a Pepsi in hand. He sat where he had the night before.

The ease at which he leaned back into the sofa made Derek's stomach twist once again. He wasn't sure if it was relief that Stiles wasn't distancing himself, or hurt that Stiles was acting like nothing had happened.

"Any luck today, Derek?" Stiles looked up at him.

Derek only shook his head, afraid his voice would give away how he was really feeling.

"Well, we can finish hitting the books tonight. Deaton gave me a few more he thought might be helpful. If you want." Stiles gestured to the pile of books Boyd had already laid out across the coffee table.

"Yeah." Derek nodded, hoping his tone was as even as he intended.

"Isaac, Malia, and I are gonna scope out the woods, see if we find anything suspicious. Smells or tracks. And just in case the missing people are connected, Lydia is getting copies of the files from Parrish." Scott said.

"Allison is gonna talk to her dad, see if he has any books or anything in the bestiary that might have correlations with dreams," Boyd added.

"What about you two?" Derek looked to Boyd and Erica.

"Deaton has a friend that we're meeting up with later. Might have something to help Lydia decipher the dream better. Deaton had somewhere to be so we're meeting in his stead." Erica answered.

"So this meeting is pointless then, cause none of us have any information," Stiles ran a hand over his face.

"Seems like." Erica grinned, an annoyance to her tone.

"Then we cancel it until we do have something," Derek growled. He hated not having answers. He wanted to think that Lydia's dream was just that, a dream. But he was too afraid to wait for something bad to happen. If they could decipher Lydia's dream before someone got hurt, maybe they could prevent it.

"Well, you two better get to reading." Erica pushed off the couch. "Call if you find anything."

"Here, take the jeep." Stiles tossed Scott the keys.

"What about you?" Scott asked, catching the keys effortlessly.

"I'll probably end up crashing here again." He shrugged before reaching for a book from the table.

"Alright, well keep your phones close in case we call." Scott nodded.

Derek noted the calm in Stiles' tone. He was willing to stay the night. Again. He didn't fear that Derek would make another move. Relief washed over Derek. He didn't expect Stiles to stay the night again for a long time.

"Ready to hit the books again, big guy?" Stiles glanced up at Derek as Erica, Boyd, and Scott filed out of the loft.

He only nodded. He was glad Stiles was able to act as though nothing had happened, but Derek was dying inside. He hadn't meant for last night to happen, but it did and now all he could think about was running his fingers through Stiles' hair. Hearing breathless gasps fall from his full lips. Feeling the way Stiles' hands trailed over him like he was glass that might break under him.

Instead, Derek sat next to Stiles and grabbed the book he'd been trying to read earlier.

"This won't change anything." He'd promised.

*AN*
Hope you like it. 😊