Love and Loyalty

~21~

William gently brushed through Eliza's hair before kissing her cheek. She leaned into his touch and fell asleep against his chest. He rested a hand on her belly "it's alright..." he whispered to himself and let a few tears flow down his cheek. After a few long minutes, William lifted his sleeping wife and walked up the stairs. Once he were in their bedchamber, he laid her on the bed and covered her in a thick woollen blanket. It were only the early hours of the evening, usually he'd still be in the fields. Though it had only been five months since the loss of their baby, Eliza had made a full recovery, both physically and mentally. William, on the other hand, kept having the same dream of him holding his stillborn.

Eliza awoke with a small hum "my love...come back to bed and that would be enough" she muttered as William walked over towards his desk "please?"

William smiled softly and looked over towards her "I have some work to do" As he spoke, he sat down and laid against the back of the chair. She let out a sigh and walked over towards him "what are you doing?" Eliza smiled slightly and sat on his left thigh "this is unexpected"

"Your tension can be felt in England" She muttered and gently scratched his beard "you've not shaved in two weeks...you haven't cut your hair, what's wrong my love?"

William just shook his head and rested his head again her breasts "Promise...promise that you won't think me insane"

Eliza tilted his chin up and gently pecked his lips "I married you, I will always think highly of you" she whispered and he rested his head on her chest once again "Are you going to tell me?"

"Every time I go to rest for the night, I go back to the day our daughter died..." He mumbled as Eliza softly worked her fingers through his hair "I see her small body in my arms, her fragile arms and face, I recoil every time I feel how cold her cheek is" William felt his eyes welling up with tears, the emotions were too much "I know that you feel better about the situation"

"My love, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of her" Eliza sadly smiled and wrapped her arms around his back "I miss her...though I know that she's waiting for me, I will be able to hold her in my arms in heaven" William started crying and clutched onto her nightdress "There there, my perfect man, shh" she gently kissed the top of his head and gently rubbed his back.

After a few more minutes, William lifted his head and looked towards the bed "Can we not sleep in here? Maybe in my old room?"

Eliza nodded and took his hands into hers "of course we can" she muttered and kissed his cheek before getting of his knee, he followed her without question and soon they were in his old bedroom. William watched as she lit a few candles around the room before sitting down on the edge of the bed "all I can smell is your scent on the pillows"

"Is that good or bad?" He asked before taking off his shirt and unbraiding his hair

Eliza shook her head and bit her lip "both good and bad, come you need some sleep" William encased himself in a cocoon of blankets before turning to face Eliza "and which blanket do I use?"

"I'm your blanket" William smirked before throwing a blanket over her "my perfect wife" he whispered and pulled her a little closer to him "Eliza, how I love you" she hummed in response and huddled to his side, resting her head on his chest.

After a few minutes of silence, Eliza looked up at him "William, do you ever want another child?"

"Another? I care more for your safety than I do about me wanting a child"

"Well we are still young...we can't blow out the flame we have ignited"

"I don't want to lose you the way I lost Emily, it'd break me"

"And if I wanted one?"

William smiled slightly and pecked the end of her nose "Then I would have to perform my husbandly duties and give you a child..." He mumbled and gently traced the curvature of the side of her body.

"then we shall wait until we are both ready"

"You won't be angry with me will you?"

"How on earth could I be angry at the one I love?" Eliza smiled and gently caressed his cheek "come on, let us sleep"

"Maybe I want to stay awake for my woman?"

"Your woman?"

"Hmm indeed" William tenderly kissed her lips and lifted her onto his waist "Now you are my blanket, a perfect woman"

"Stop it with the honeyed words, I'll surely swoon" She smiled and rested her head just underneath his chin "I love you"

"I love you more" He felt a well known ache between his loins, by Christ he wanted this woman! Maybe if he were to spill his seed elsewhere...

"Oh...what's wrong?"

"You've stirred a beast within me, I cannot tame it"

"Mmm..." She got off of his waist and glanced down at the clear outline on his breeches "Oh I see...what do you want me to do?"

"You?"

"Well I still need to perform my wifely duties"

William shook his head and closed his eyes "maybe tomorrow, right now I just want to hold you while I sleep"