Love and Loyalty

~15~

After being away from Eliza for three months, life hadn't been the same at all. He'd stayed in the inn and made sure than Anna was safe. In return she attempted to give him a little advice on what to do. Though she got rather bored of the constant conversations eventually.

"So I just need to home and apologise?"

"And you need to say that you're in love with her" Anna smiled and braided his hair "Or you might lose her" William groaned slightly and fell back, resting his head against her thighs "Oh Willepoo, no need to lose all hope"

"I hate that nickname"

"Deal with it" She lightly laughed and gently stroked his cheek "You just need to apologise to her and work things through"

"I lied to her...she won't forgive me"

"Don't be silly" Anna tapped his shoulder before kissing his forehead "Go and visit her, say goodbye or stay with her"

"Why are you so therapeutic?"

"Because I am, deal with it"

William let out a soft chuckle and closed his eyes "Just stroke my hair, it's adorable" Anna shook her head and lightly scratched his beard "I bought passage on a ship back to England"

"are you crazy?"

"Yes, how haven't you noticed that yet?"

"Go and get your girl you fool!"

"She doesn't love me anymore"

"At least say goodbye"

"And if she rejects me?"

"The she rejects you...I've become a painter like you asked, I can help you"

"Yes and over these past few months you've learned so many things about me"

"I know"

William sighed and looked up at her "stop being right"

"no" Anna smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek "It's my job to be right"

"Do you think that she'd forgive me?" he mumbled in a weak voice before bringing out the ring from his pocket "

~~~

William was intent on going back to England but some reason, instead of walking to the harbour, he walked to the church and sat in a solitary pew in the dark corner. He hid his head in his hands and took in a shaky breath, tears threatening to break lose from his eyes. William hadn't cried since Emily died, though losing Eliza had proven to be far more difficult. "Father forgive me for my sins, end my suffering I beg you...I've lost everything that was important to me, please...my life isn't worth living" he begged and looked up at the cross "Please...rid me of the voices that haunt me every night, let me be in the arms of the woman I love...Please let Eliza see that how sorry I am, I beg for your forgiveness"

After a few minutes of him quietly sobbing, he heard a couple of pairs of footsteps walking down the aisle of the church.

"James...why are we in the church?"

"I need to do something" That voice was too familiar for William's liking. He looked to the side and saw his former second in command and...he had a wife? He swore back in 1780 that he wouldn't wed after his wife left him...and she was with child?

"Jesus Christ..." William spoke louder than expected, causing the couple to look his way. He cleared his throat and walked over towards him "...I apologise for my rudeness"

His former second tilted his head to the side it confusion "you look oddly familiar, do I know you?"

"No...I have you mistaken for someone else I think, I apologise" William turned on his heel and walked towards the door.

"Colonel?" James mumbled and William froze in horror "I thought you were dead...we searched for your body for days, what are you doing here?"

He turned around and dared not meet his eyes "I'm as good as dead Mr Wilkins, I'm glad to see you have wed and that your wife is expecting" William smiled slightly before clearing his throat "Your life has finally come together, I couldn't be happier for you"

"forgive me, this is Victoria Wilkins, my wife of five years" James smiled and walked up to his old commander "what of you? Did you find someone?"

"I did, she took me in...she kept me safe though I don't think she loves me anymore"

"I'm sure she does, women usually get angry and don't forgive men until they return home" Victoria smiled and leant against James' arm "Unless you've hurt her"

"I'd never lay my hands on a woman"

"Not just physically"

"If you need somewhere to sleep this evening, you can rest at my home old friend" James offered with a small smile "I'm sure that the children won't mind"

William shook his head and looked down at his boots "I thank you for the offer but I must decline..." he sadly spoke before raising his head "I need to go"

"Go? Go where?"

"To my mistresses plantation"

"you work for someone?"

"I know the commander getting commanded, how ironic" He smirked slightly before looking down at his boots "she saved me when I thought I couldn't be, and now it's my turn to save our relationship"

William knew he had to go back, he knew that Eliza would be waiting and so would Arthur. It had only been three days since she found out who he truly was, maybe she would forgive him? Maybe they could go back to how they were? Before he could even comprehend this thought, he started walking back towards the direction of her plantation. The closer he got, the more nervous he felt. He feared that she'd reject his pleas for forgiveness. Eliza had a kind heart, she might just forgive him. But she'd never love him like he loved her. William knew that Emily would be happy that he'd found happiness, she's be furious about him. She'd probably beat him with her slipper.

He managed to get this far. He would walk if he had to.

And that he did.