𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐓 // 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐅𝐅

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟔 ⁽ᴿᵉʷʳⁱᵗᵗᵉⁿ⁾

✧ ᴵⁿᵈⁱᵉ ᴶᵒⁿᵉˢ ᴳʳᵃʸˢᵒⁿ ✧

⁽ᵀᵂ: ˢᵘⁱᶜⁱᵈᵉ ᵃᵗᵗᵉᵐᵖᵗ, ˢᵉˡᶠ ʰᵃʳᵐ, ᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵉᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵈⁱˢᵒʳᵈᵉʳ⁾

(I miss your comments 🥲)

I wish I could tell them.
Would they still hate me?
My sister does, my father does.
Everyone does.

It wouldn't change a thing.
In their eyes I'll always be a burden.
Hell, I'm a burden for myself.

Watching the water overflowing from the full bath tub on my floor I step fully dressed into the ice cold water making it spill over even more.

My reflexes are telling me to get out, it's too cold.
But I don't listen to them.
For a moment I watch the water making it's way to my door, most likely soaking my carpet now.
What a total mess.

Closing my eyes I lean my head back until the water covers my face fully.
It's peaceful down here, no sounds except for the sound of my ears closing with water.

The coldness calms me and I pull my arms to my body.

I love this feeling of peace.

When I'm under water I don't feel as heavy as I do on earth. My mind doesn't feel as heavy.
Peaceful.
So peaceful.

I open my eyes, feeling the slight sting of the cold water colliding with them.
I only see blurry but that's beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't see at all.
I couldn't see myself.

I'm so tired.

We have eight in the evening, that's the time where we eat dinner.
Mom is still at work because of the big thing they are planing, it would just be dad, me and my siblings.

They wouldn't want me there tonight.
Like my sister said, I ruined everything yesterday.

If she only knew.

Taking a breath I feel the water burning in my nostrils and lungs.
It stings.
But the thoughts would hurt more.

Closing my eyes again I take another breath and press my palms against the walls of my bathtub, fighting the urge to get out.

Just another minute.
One more minute of silence.

But my silence was broken by hands gripping me roughly by the shoulders, pulling me out of my safe water.