𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧
I wish life had a remote controller so I could skip my teenage years. Who would have thought living could be this painful when you grew up with all the love a child could wish for. It feels privileged to feel lik...
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Rain is slamming against my windows as I sit in my room and wait for the drugs to finally kick in.
I took some shitty pills I bought from a team mate a few weeks back. I'm walking on thin ice and I can't risk to buy expensive shit anymore.
My father could find out and kick my ass in rehab.
He doesn't understand what I'm going through. I don't either. Maybe I'm just a spoiled brat.
There was no reason why I'm doing this. There was no trauma I was trying to mute with being so high that I can't even remember my name.
When I was fourteen my brother had a party and his friends asked me if I wanted to try some cocaine.
If I could go back in time I would never do it. Ivar looked away for five minutes and in the next his little brother was passed out in the bathroom with some blond from his class.
I enjoyed that feeling too much. After that I stayed in contact with his friends and tried more and more stuff, feeling better than ever.
My parents had too many kids to notice that their middle son turned into an addict right under their nose.
It's not their fault, mom was on her second tour when it started and dad was busy with some shit going down from his past.
Ivar tried to make it stop. He cut contact to his so called friends but I still somehow found ways to get my stuff.
God, I'm so fucked up.
A loud crash came from downstairs but the weird thing is, I knew no one was home. My family was at the Mori's for dinner but I didn't want to come.
Standing up from my floor I almost rip my curtains down trying to steady myself.
The familiar feeling of the drugs in my system finally kicked in. The prickling on my skin and everything around me started to look more colorful. The world was so much prettier when the bright colors come to shine.
Fuck, I think I'm higher than I had planned to be.
The walls seemed to close in on me as I walk through the corridor of our house. A few minutes ago they were bigger. What the hell.
