Part 13 When Reality comes calling

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Chapter 13

When Reality Comes Calling

Piku returned to see that his sister was up in the kitchen preparing breakfast and went straight in.

Rajani took a sidelong look at him and said , ' are you hungry ? Do you want some parathas ? '

Piku replied absentmindedly , ' hm , no , not really , I just want some tea . Is it ready ? '

'Yes , pour some out for yourself , it's in the kettle . '

She carried out a plate full of fresh, ghee soaked triangular parathas and a large bowl of plain potato curry . She placed them on the dining table and returned to take the rest of the breakfast stuff . Omlettes , sweet yogurt , tea , and of course , a pile of bananas .

Her brothers couldn't survive a single day without this fruit . If there were no bananas at home the boys would riot .

She returned again and stood leaning against the kitchen door watching her favorite sip his tea quietly .

She said , 'Pikai , can we talk a bit in private ? Do you have time or do you need to study right away ?'

Piku looked at her and shook his head. He said , ' no no , I've time , I revised a bit in the morning.'

' Ok , then lets go out ,' she said and walked out without waiting for him .

He followed her out, perplexed .

They walked silently side by side for a while until they reached a spot furthest away from the house next to their pond . She stood there uncertainly and then sat at the edge and gestured at him to do the same . Again , she seemed to be lost in her thoughts .

'Didi , are you ok , is something troubling you ?' Piku asked her .

Rajani shook her head , ' no, nothing's troubling me , I just need to gather my thoughts before I speak , that's all . I think I'm ready now .'

She turned slightly towards her younger brother and spoke on quietly , in her gentle voice.

' I was making the beds in your room the night of the party when you and Duke were talking behind the house . So I heard everything .'

Piku almost blacked out with shock .

' I could hear how sincere you were to each other ..........' she stared down at the ground and continued .

' You are childhood friends after all , so feeling love for such an old friend is not unnatural . It's ok to feel love but Not ok to act upon it Pikai . Duke is like a dear brother to me too . I love him no less than I love you . I have seen him since he was 6 . He's a very nice person but tell me what possible future can you have with him ? I see nothing but darkness and insecurity . I fear for your future if you choose to continue like this . '

Piku's eyes filled up , he said , 'Didi please ..'

' He is our employer's son .' she went on , without giving him a chance to talk .

' We are dependent on them . Indebted to them . What do you think will happen if your relationship is known by the elders of that family . They have the power to destroy us . Please , I'm requesting you , don't do anything rash .' She stopped finally , staring imploringly at Piku .

Piku looked away and wiped his tears . He said , 'Didi , do you think I'm that foolhardy that I'll rush headlong into something without any thoughts ? When I realized my feelings for Duke , I had no intention of pursuing it . I wanted to run away , hide somewhere . At one point I even wanted to die . '

'No, no Pikai , don't even utter such words !' she interjected loudly , panicking .

Piku kept on talking . 'I was determined to stay as far away from him as possible . It hurt terribly Didi, but I didn't have any intention of giving way . I can tolerate any amount of pain myself you know , I can endure it ....'

He sighed heavily and said , ' but I couldn't stand , seeing him in pain . I can't hurt him . I'd rather die than hurt him . He is everything to me ...'

He started to cry . Rajani gathered her brother into her arms and cried with him . His misery was her doing . She felt terrible but helpless too .

Adhiraj was capable of murdering people for offences lesser than this . This situation made her extremely frightened . The brother and sister sat together at the edge of the pond not too far from the spot where Piku and Duke had shared their first kiss . 

Miserably clinging to each other and crying . After some time Rajani gathered herself . She wiped her tears and dried Piku's tear sodden face with the edge of her saree .

Taking his chin in her hand she lifted his face upwards , facing her .

'My brother , you are our beacon of hope . All our ambitions rest upon you . Please , please don't throw your life away this way . Control yourself . Please try , for all our sakes .'

Piku cried out , ' But what if I can't Didi ? What if I can't control myself ? What if I don't want to ? '

Piku pushed down his shame and doggedly went on , ' when I don't see him for a day , I can't breathe ..' He talked while staring down at the ground, not daring to look at his sister's face .

' How will I try to control myself ? It's too late for that . We are far past that stage ..... I want to spend my life with him .' 

he added quietly, 'Or else , there is no life for me .'

They sat in silence, staring at the still water of the pond. At length, Piku dragged in a heavy breath and looked back at his sister's face . 

He said, ' so Didi , my question to you is this . Will you help me ? Will you please keep our secret ? You are the only person I can talk to . Please don't close this door on me . I need you , Didi .'

Rajani started weeping again . Her gut was churning and her heart was aching for her brother . After crying silently for a while she took a shaky breath and looked up at Piku .

This darling brother of hers , her childhood friend and companion .....

He was her only hope of freedom from this strange life of widowhood that she was forced to lead.

He was her entire world . She spoke up with a sad little smile , ' your love sounds like the songs i've heard sung by the kirtanias .'

Piku shook his head and smiled at her ruefully .

She took a breath and swallowed the tears gathering again in her throat , ' Pikai , I don't know what is right or wrong . I just know that this is extremely dangerous .'

Piku didn't respond . He sat silently poking the ground with his feet , hiding his face . His tears dripped straight down dampening the dry soil .

Finally , after a prolonged silence she added , ' I'll help you of course . I'll keep your secret . But you'll have to promise me that you'll do your very best not to show your true feelings in front of anybody .'

She pulled his hands into her own and gripped them tightly , ' no one , Piku , absolutely no one must know ,' she said staring into his eyes .

Piku nodded his head , too relieved to break it to her that someone already knew . He told himself that he can hide it . No problem . It's just a matter of continuing to behave like friends .

Finally cleaning their faces , brother and sister trudged the short distance back home .

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