forget-me-not, neil

Petrichor

"Neil,"

"Yeah Todd?"

"You're smart, right?"

He contemplates for a moment. "Why, yes, I would like to say so."

I'm sitting on my bed in our room, reading an old book of poems our teacher suggested to me. "What does the word," I hesitate, not wanting to sound entirely dumb in front of him, "Petri-chore mean?"

He walks over from his bed across from mine and sits down beside me, his knee bumping into mine as he settles and shifts his weight trying to get a better look at my page, then resting against my thigh all together once he finds the word. I feel a cloud of butterflies start to grow in my stomach. Sort of a nervous feeling, rather than excitedness. I've been close to Neil before, and have never felt this weary feeling in my gut. But something about this touch is different, so different that it makes my cheeks flush hot.

"Oh, that's the word petrichor, ever heard of it?" Neil says, his bright eyes staring back at mine. I shake my head no. "Yeah, it's a weird looking word, but it's actually quite beautiful. It means the smell of rain, you know, that earthy kind when it rains outside after its been dry for so long?" I stare at him in awe, amazed at his knowledge. I don't think he notices my gaze, as he continues on, "You see, petrichor is greek, coming from the words petra meaning rock, or stone, and ichor, which is known in Greek mythology," he pauses, sitting up more, the pure excitement about a word filling him up, "as the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods." He finishes with a smile, and turns his head, meeting my wide eyes. "Oh, sorry, I guess I kind of got carried away." He looks down, a wave of embarrassment washing over him.

"That was, the most, incredible thing I've ever heard, in my life." I say, and his head starts to lift as his eyes perk up to meet mine.

"Really?" He looks at me in disbelief.

"Yes! I've never heard anyone know so much about a single word!"

"Knox and Charlie and Meeks and them always make fun of me when I go off about a word like that." Neil says with a laugh. "I guess I just like having a very wide vocabulary, but I wouldn't call it incredible, per say."

"Oh but it was," I say as I fall backwards onto my bed, my thigh pressing tighter against his. "Is there anything you don't know?"

He falls back, right next to me, so that our shoulders all the way down to our elbows are touching. "I know nothing, Todd."

"Well, you know more than me, that's for sure."

I feel his head roll towards mine, and so I do the same, ending with our noses just a foot away from each other. "Don't worry, young Todd, I'll teach you well." He says with a grin. I can't help but reciprocate the smile, and we stay there for a moment, just looking at each other, and there's that feeling again. The one I had almost forgotten about from the arm touch. After a few seconds, he looks back up towards the ceiling, but I stay there for just one moment longer, taking in his side profile. I'd never noticed before how smooth the curve of his nose was. Or how prominent his brow bone. He was the kind of boy I'd always been jealous of. Perfect bone structure, perfect hair, the kind of face a teacher might use as a reference while teaching to paint portraits in an art class. But for some reason, I didn't feel jealous in this moment. Looking at him, I felt something different. Something warm, and odd, but not something I could figure out.

I realize how long I'd been staring, and try to nonchalantly turn my head back towards the ceiling. I'm sure Neil noticed my awkward staring, but he hasn't made it obvious.

"Well," he says as he sits up, "I suppose we should be getting ready to head off." He reaches back and pats my chest twice, a gesture so simple, yet so electrifying, and with one swift movement he's off the bed, rummaging through his desk. With his back turned, I have a moment for myself to privately process what just happened, the feel of his hand still lingering on my chest.

"You comin', Toddy?"

I sit up, sliding my own stack of books on the bed beside me, and with that, we're off. 

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Hi! I am very excited to share this all with you! I have been working on these one shots for a little over a year, but have never had the confidence to actually publish them. But as the Dead Poets have taught us, Carpe Diem! Hope you enjoy!

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Okay so this is over a year later and it's so amazing to see how many of you have loved this story! For those who may be rereading, welcome back! And to those who are new, thank you so much for reading, please feel free to follow me, vote, and comment what you think! I hope to bring you more Anderperry in the future <3