forget-me-not, neil

What it feels like to be drunk

Neil's POV

It's around 11 o'clock and I'm sitting at my desk trying to do my stupid Latin homework when I hear something hit my window. I don't get up at first, assuming it was just Todd. But then I remember, he's not here. Todd's away at his fancy dinner party tonight, and he's going back with Jeff to spend the night at their parents' place afterwards. But when I hear another click at the pane I decide to get up to investigate. It's too dark to see outside, so I push the window up, just as something soars through the window right past my head. I look back to see a pebble sitting on the floor between the beds, then turn back around and lurch my body through the window, looking every which way to see the source of the catapult.  

"Jeff?" Down below is Jeff, Todd's older brother, standing next to what is presumably Todd, laying on the grass. "What the hell is going on?" 

"You gotta come get Todd, alright?" he demands impatiently. "Please Neil, I have to get back, but he won't be able to get up the steps by himself." 

"What do you mean?" I whisper shout back. "What's wrong with him?" 

"Just sneak your ass down here Perry, okay? Don't make me throw another rock up there!"

"Okay fine! I'm coming! Just, stop shouting so much!" 

I close the window and grab my house coat, quietly creaking my door open to make sure no one can hear me. I sneak down the stairs and come out to the back entrance, to find Todd still laying on the ground, Jeffrey slowly walking away from him, zipping his coat up. 

"Jesus Jeff, what did you do to him?" I kneel down and lay my hand on Todd's shoulder, to which he grumbles a few incomprehensible syllables in response. 

"Don't ask me," Jeff replies as he starts walking away. "All I know is I'm never making him come to a social event ever again." And with that, he's already halfway across the grass. Some brother,  I think to myself. I feel a hand grab onto my arm, and see that Todd's eyes are now open.

"Anderson are you drunk?"  He heaves a heavy sigh.

"No. Maybe. Just a little. Or a lot. I can't tell."

"I think I can," I say as I scoop an arm under his torso, "come on man, let's get you back inside before Nolan hears us." I manage to get him to his feet, arm slung around my shoulder. 

"You know Neil, you were right, I had the most amazing fucking time," Todd slurs out. "Just, absolutelyamazing." 

"I bet you did Todd, I bet you did." I've never seen Todd drink before, in fact, he'd never shown any interest in it at all. That was one of the first things we had in common. Some of our friends drank, but it was never this heavily. I could tell he'd had a lot, because of the thick scent of whiskey coming off of him. It reminded me of my father, the way he used to drink. But father never drank because he'd had a good time, leading me to wonder what really happened at that dinner party that left Todd in such a mess as this. The quick walk back to the door began to feel longer and longer, Todd tripping over his feet and nearly dragging me down with him. 

"I'm so glad I have a friend like you Neil," he stated as he started to slow down. "So, so glad." And before I knew it he'd pulled me into a hug. A long, tight hug. I held him, as I felt his arms wrap tighter around me, his body shaking as it began to let out gentle sobs. "It was horrible." he said into my hair. "So fucking horrible Neil." I squeezed him then, as he continued to cry. I felt horrible knowing how much I had encouraged him to go. I should have known that he wouldn't enjoy something like that. I should have known. We hug for a moment more, and then he pulls away, only for his knees to wobble and his frame to crumble to the ground. I grab him, and pull him in tight, as we start our way back to the doors. 

"Neilllll," he says in a suddenly singsong voice. "My best friend Neil, my best friend Neil Perry." He continues like this all the way up the stairs, despite me shushing him. We surprisingly make it back to our room without anybody hearing us. I pull back his covers and lay him down gently, pulling his legs up and over the mattress. 

"Neil?" 

"Yes, Todd?" 

"Did you know that my name means fox?" 

I untie his dress shoes. "No I didn't, but that's pretty cool." 

"Yeah, yeah it is." I take his shoes off and drop them onto the floor. 

"Neil?" 

"Mm-hmm?" I pull the covers up over him, then sit on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair off of his forehead. He takes my hand and holds it against his cheek. 

"Neil."

"Yeah Todd?" He takes my hand and places it flat against my own cheek, keeping his hand over mine. 

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" I can't contain the shock that overcomes my face. I feel my cheeks flush hot, glad his hand isn't touching my skin directly, or else we might just catch on fire. And with that his eyes close, and his arm goes limp, his hand dragging down my arm then falling onto his stomach. I carefully stand up off the bed,  and look down at him. My stomach has this weird feeling in it, same as the feeling I'd had when dancing with Todd. I take off my house coat, tossing it on the floor along with Todd's dress shoes. I crawl into my own bed, and flick off the light, forgetting all about the Latin homework I'm supposed to be doing.  My brain couldn't think of anything else other than the fact that Todd Anderson thought I was pretty. Sure, he was drunk out of his mind but, Todd Anderson thought I was pretty. I couldn't quite think of why that made me so giddy, or filled me with such a bubbly feeling, but all I could think was, this must be what it feels like to be drunk.