forget-me-not, neil

I meant what I said

I stand in front of the mirror in the washroom, trying hard to come up with a persona for the evening. Am I Todd, Jeffrey's smart, studious, focused younger brother with a plan for the future? Todd, the courageous funny guy everyone will remember? Or will I simply just sink into Todd, the lame one who wouldn't talk to anybody all night. Todd, the one who sat in the corner and ate all the bread sticks. Just as I think I'm coming up with a good line to use on people when they ask me what I plan to do with my education, a familiar face walks into the bathroom and eyes me through the mirror.

"Wow Todd, you look great." Neil drops his stuff on one of the benches and walks up behind me.

"I don't feel great." I loosen the collar of my dress shirt slightly. "I still don't get why I have to go."

"Because it'll be fun!"

"Maybe your idea, maybe, maybe Jeff's idea of fun, but not mine. This is Jeff's kind if thing, not mine."

"Well don't you think it could be?"

"No Neil, I really don't." I'm helpless, of course he doesn't understand. He couldn't possibly understand the bubbly anxiety in my stomach, the weight of dread resting on my head. Just the thought of walking through the doors, dressed like this, having to talk to people like that, just makes me want to die. "I don't know Neil." He walks up behind me.

"Well I know, Toddy," he says as he rests his head on my shoulder, "And I meant what I said, you look really good."

I turn my head towards him, and our eyes are so close, that even in the dimly lit fluorescent lights of the bathroom, I can see how dark and beautiful they are. "Thanks, Neil."

The door bursts open and we jump apart.

"Todd are you ready?" It's Cameron, thankfully oblivious. "Your brother's downstairs waiting for you."

I look at Neil, who gives an encouraging nod, and that's all I need.

"Yeah, I'm comin'."

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Okay super short but I'm hoping to post more later tonight!! Thank you all so much for the reads <3