Nirvana | Levi Ackerman

18

[Warnings: Mentions of abuse, blood, self-harm, alcohol and drug usage]

Note: This chapter contains heavy topics, so if you are at all uncomfortable with any of the subjects above, feel free to skip this chapter.

I'm also aware that the characters in this ff wouldn't do this, but everything is simply for the story, so please refrain from making any comments about it.

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"I love you."

Three words. Three little words that hold such a powerful meaning. Said in a sense where you're completely devoted to someone. Where you'd do anything to simply be in the company of that someone you truly love.

You can't erase the form of words from your mind. Hell, you can't even fathom the fact that he was brave enough to say it out loud.

If it weren't for your act of pretending to fall asleep as an attempt to scare him, you most definitely wouldn't have heard such expressive language come from Levi.

You feel a sense of guilt from hearing him in such vulnerability. It's more than likely that he didn't intend for you to hear, but you did. You did hear, and you're completely mind blown by it all.

The time you've spent over thinking about the way he feels and holding yourself back from initiating any conversation about the two of you, feels like you've wasted time.

Time that could've been spent loving each other the way you wish you could.

Though, you now know the truth of it all, and yet you don't know what to do. Of course you love him, you're just afraid of what the result might be from openly admitting to it.

"We can turn back if you want," Levi's voice breaks you out of your muddled mind.

Here you are consumed by his confession rather than worrying about the upcoming interaction with your brother. You're minutes away from coming face to face with Eren and all you can think about is him.

It just further proves how effective Levi truly is.
You blink out of your zoned out state, your eyes burning from the lack of moisture. You hiss and rub your eyes to lessen the pain before shaking your head.

"No, I need to do this. I told Armin I would, and I always keep my word."

Levi clicks his teeth, "You shouldn't be doing this for anyone but yourself."

You shift in your seat and play with the strings of his hoodie that drapes over your body. "I am doing it for myself," you let out, "and for Eren. All I want is peace, and that means with or without him depending on how this all goes."

It's true. Like you've stated before, you won't fight for him to accept you. If this day turns out to go wrong, you'll walk away and continue on with what you've been doing for the past month.

It wouldn't hurt this time, would it?

Levi doesn't say anything after. He simply puts his entire focus on maneuvering through different streets.

You silently look out the window, watching as each house grows familiar. It's been a while since you've been back in this area, and the pressure against your chest speaks for how much you missed it here.