My problems (vent)

Thoughts... Adhd warning

By adhd warning i mean that my thoughts go at 10,000 per second so-

needed to take this out my gut

it is 3 am (litterally, 3:13am) and some time ago i started to play this little cute game omori, very adorable and happiness all over the place ^^

WELL GUESS WHAT THAT CUTE LITTLE GAME SLICED ME INTO HALF, GOT IT HALF AND CRUSHED IT, THEN SPAT ON IT AND THREW IT ON A BLENDER AT MAXIMUM CAPACITY THEN FREAKING THREW IT ON A LAKE THEN BURNT DOWN THE WHOLE ENTIRE THING.

THAT DEVASTATED I AM.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT WAS THE WORST PART?! (WHY AM I IN CAPS?)

THE FACT THAT I RELATE.

believe me that's even worse than getting sliced into half, crushed, getting spat on, blended, thrown at a lake and getting burned. it's 5 times worse.

I miss ya tio TmT

Different thought, Dream explaining

"All dreams have a meaning"

dang, didn't knew that adhd, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and trauma could make such a colorful world of hope and life

Then just slice it into half, crush it, spit into it, blend it, throw it into a lake and burn it

but 7 times worse, It made the complete opossite in a black door with your dead uncle and.. something... behind your... back

sometimes my dreams just include people i don't know, like i've seen them before but in that dream i realize... Who are they? i don't know them as much as I'm supposed to..

As an example i once dreamed of an ex friend that turned into a.. Bully? i don't know if she could be considered that just yet, in my dream it was just a distortion of a memory with her

Her name was Lea and i honestly never knew more than her name even after considering her my friend

The dream went like this; I was on 2nd/1st grade (middle school) i don't remember a f#ck, and it was cold af out of our classroom so we had recess inside the classroom and i was a very creative kid, too creative for my safety.

And i brought a scarf for the cold and i was using it as a "electric fence" for my seat

and so Lea came and she started mocking me stepping on my scarf with her dirty af shoe saying "oH nO i'M eLEcTrOCuTiNG" or some bulsh#t like that 

And since it was the first time she was mean to me (and the only memory i have of her) and i was a kid.. Well you know that toddler look when you know they're about to cry but they just don't? I had that exact same face on my toddler face

Then this is where the weird starts kicking in

she somehow morphed into different people that were the same person as her? it was so weird but it all made s sense to my autistic mind and so i closed my eyes hard like trying not to cry and when i opened them

I was another person, Lea eye and mouth were flashing colors and it looked like a dence liquid was going out from them. them

This dream was recent and that's the reason I'm being so graphic and it's so weird? my dreams today in day are all like this

who was i? you may ask and as i may answer i was Omori. freaking Omori, i was in the white place and i saw Mylo! my cat that went missing and almost all the cats that i wanted to adopt 

And so where i looked where my desk was at the classroom i saw the sketchbook and i was drawing so naturally without even realizing i was in another place like i have always been there?

And then i was at the school again being myself while drawing for a costume at a event that was going to happen 

It was a lion? and i also wasn't at the school either i was at a car but only when i looked left and at the right it was a place in between our school "cafeteria" and a long "hall" at the outsides that was also weirdly shaped? 

and in the car it was my teacher! driving and somehow checking at me without looking other way while driving and what the living f#ck are my dreams i'm going crazy

by the time i finished this it is 3:51am in (a specific place in)(and o h god i hate this tablet keyboard) Mex and I'm wide awake