My problems (vent)

Comparison.

My whole life has been a comparison with my sister, with Michelle, with Carolina, with Sofia, with Danna everyone! I even got compared to my moms friend's daughter who I don't even know and is 16!
Not much better than my sister who is currently 19. Mom compares me even to herself when she was younguer!

She told me once and another and another that I should have been in the "Honor roll" that my sister was always on it, she was always on it, WELL I BET YOUR PARENTS NEVER MADE YOU FEEL LIKE GARBAGE ONCE YOU DIDNT FULFILLED THEIR EXPECTATIONS!

I'm just tired from hearing "well Sofia is way better kid than you" "Michelle earned those privileges, not like you" and then when I say something good that their parents do that improves them as persons they go on with "Well Michelle is not my daughter, you are!"

HOW MUCH HYPOCRISY CAN GO INTO ONE PERSON?!

I feel like I don't deserve the things I am given and at the next moment I feel like I'm being treated like garbage.

Like in school in my school workshop (somewhat clubs) my classmates ignore me and just today as I said I was gonna throw myself off my window they just said "please!".. that really hurt me coming from the one and only Michelle who I was with 6 years of my life as friends.

And the worst part is I still consider them all friends because I have a so hard time distinguishing real from fake that I literally only follow like 10 people for the fear of being used just to get followers

Carolina was one of the worst since all of our classmates in the same club call her, cartulina, carolina africana, quintas carolinas, Carol, Coraline all sorts of parodies to her name because she doesn't like being called just Carolina but Caro.

She said "she was gonna leave the club if they kept calling her all that" And everyone came just like "noooo we're sorry caro" or some shit like that and I'm just here in the corner afraid to sit next to my crush and uncomfortable after my seat being stolen with nothing but rudeness by someone I once helped out of pure kindness

This dude literally stood in front of me when I was going to sit and went on as "this is MY seat" and just did everything to bother me! And by the way I'm describing it it's just bullying but I feel so afraid to call our teacher because what I learned from school is that if you've done something for your safety, or from getting tired from them doing something much worse you'll both be punished.

So I can't just go call the teacher! I don't want any sort of trouble relating to my parents disapproval... I just don't know what to do and If I tell my parents they're just gonna tell me something like "then tell them this" and just get scolded from when I do it and they get called.

Anyways. I'm happy to get it off my guys and thanks from getting here no one, no one sees this every word so.. why even bother.. I'm just gonna quit wattpad sometime soon and just be a ghost reader... Goodbye.