Ten

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Excitement

That's the only feeling i could define. The other feelings inside me weren't new but they were mixed which made it difficult to define them. But i could sense some nervousness inside of me.

Why? Yea why?

Me and Audine agreed to meet, but not this weekend, next weekend which was more than ten days away and all i think of is how great it would be to finally meet him.

Time passes by so quickly and i can't believe it's been two months or so since the first time i talked to him. I must tell you that the first phone call was so weird. Waking up in the morning having what i possibly can call the worst hangover because of how much i drunk the night before only to receive a phone call from a stranger saying that i told him to exchange numbers and asked him to call me in the morning is definitely the weirdest way to go. Let alone, starting a friendship with the same person, without forgetting about the whole liking him thing. That's a different case from the weird kind.

I was sitting on our usual lunch table with my usual two best friends and smiling down at my phone, happily texting the cute cat boy from the internet, which indeed was something unusual. The regular alcoholic Riley doesn't use her phone. The regular alcoholic Riley doesn't use social media and let she lost her cellphone four times since she bought it

It was four months old

Mainly because i was busy drinking and not giving a single shit about my life, not having any clue about what was happening around me. Not really knowing anything and not knowing myself.

Drinking was fun, but as fun as it was, it was bad. Bad for me and bad for everyone around me. There was a party last year that i was invited to. It was really crazy because the host was a college student and that meant one thing only, FREE DRINKS. That night i drunk my eyes off. I danced around like i was out of jail and did something bad along with acting crazy all night. I started a fight with a random girl, accusing her of something which i can't even remember. And believe me it didn't end really well. I didn't exactly know how the hell i ended up in that party that night because as far as i can remember - at least memories before drinking too much - there was no one from my friends or people i knew around.

I ended up calling Mylo somehow and asked him to pick me up. The girl was hurt, not so bad but she was hurt and i, being the agressive drunken hurt her. Mylo took me to his house and for my luck both of his parents were out that night. He spent the whole night with me in the bathroom helping me with my hair while throwing up and sobbing. I cried my eyes off at first because i realized that i caused harm for a girl who was hundred percent innocent but than i started crying over someone else. Mylo said that i mentioned Phil after that. I said his name few times in the middle of sobbing

Phil was my dad

The day after i woke up in Mylo's bed. His sheets were so soft and warm and they made me hate the day i was born in, with no mentioning how i felt after he told me what he heard from the people who were partying. It sucked. And that was the bad side of me drinking too much. I do things, unreasonable things and sometimes i just drink. Just to relax. Alcohol took my brain away. Sometimes people approach me, saying that i know them from a certain party or whatever and they liked my company but once they see the sober version of me they back off because i just don't remember them and I'm less fun when I'm not drunk

AUDINE :

I'm out for a walk. It's kind of nice outside

AUDINE :

I also need vitamin D in my system

I smiled at text the same way i was doing for the last fifteen minutes of lunch period, ignoring the looks my two friends were giving me the whole time

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