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Twenty

I have always thought that I will get used to the pounding feeling I get when i wake up after a heavy drinking night.

I didn't and I don't think I will ever get used to it.

I woke up the following day to the sight  the living room ceiling. It didn't surprise me that I woke up there because we grew up doing that whenever my friends slept over. What surprised me however was the amount of mattress surrounding me. And someone else slept on the couch, which meant one thing only

No one left yesterday

It didn't bother me that they stayed the night. It actually made me happy. What bothered me was me not remembering a single thing after having a drink. And the fact that they woke up and didn't wake me up. I focused a little bit longer on the ceiling and ignored the voices that were coming from the kitchen. All i could think of was how i screwed up again and gave up easily. This always happens after I knock myself out with drinks. The feeling of guilt hits me every morning after I drink terribly the night before. Sometimes it leads to crying but not this morning. I don't want them to see me like this. Not after what they saw the night before, which I'm not exactly sure of.

I finally decided to wake up and run upstairs to where my parents bathroom was. It was a good decision because the second I saw my reflection in the mirror, I almost gasped. My hair and the layer of mascara that i was wearing the night before were an indication that the night before was wild. And that caused me to spend the next fifteen minutes of my shower trying to remember what the hell I have done.

I couldn't remember

And after dressing up in my clean clothes, the embarrassment hit me because I realised Audine witnessed the whole show, and that was so embarrassing that i wanted to just runaway and never show myself again.

The blue pair of eyes met mine the moment I entered the kitchen. It's like Audine was waiting for me to show up because his lips curled up the moment he saw me and that just made my heart race fast. He was always giving me reasons to fall for him and that was too much to take because I was already so in love with him. I did not know what came after what I had for him. That one eye contact lasted more than thirty seconds. I just stared deep in his eyes and wondered how beautiful that moment was. How he looked so beautiful in that chair he was sitting on and how incredibly unreal this whole thing looked. The whole room went silent as I looked at Audine and believe me, at that particular moment I did not care nor felt embarrassed about how obvious my feelings seemed.

The silence was broken when Mylo coughed lightly, bringing me back to the real life where I was standing awkwardly in the kitchen of my house and looking at a boy in a way that I'm quite sure was creepy.

" Uhh... Good morning everyone" I said awkwardly and smiled at them.

" Good morning sunshine.. Come and sit here while I make you a cup of coffee" Mylo said and I glared at him. He wasn't supposed to call me that when he was dating our third friend even if it didn't mean anything, but who am I talking to, he never listens to anyone. I sat down next to Lola and opposite to Adam and Audine. They both didn't seem to mind that they were next to each other but I did because I knew that Adam was interested in me in a way and I brought him all the way here to just force him to see me looking like a fool when I'm next to Audine. I knew that however Adam liked me, it's not that serious but it still gave me a small amount of guilt.

" Wild night huh.. How was your sleep" Mylo asked me. He was leaning on the counter and looking at me with a smirk on his face. That one smirk that said I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY AND YOU DON'T

" I've had worse nights" I said, sipping from my cup of coffee. My head was still pounding hard but I was getting used to it by that time.

" what happened.. I can't recall anything" I asked them but no one bothered to reply. I looked around the table to see that everyone was trying to avoid my gaze. Even Audine was pretending to be busy with his pancake plate