moments in love | hyunlix

- chapter 26 -

What the-?!

Who the hell?!

Felix's jaw dropped - maybe his heart as well. Damn, why hadn't Hyunjin told him anything?!

Sure it's 2022, fuck traditional dating and handle everything thats even half emotional as situationship, as maybe, as- what the hell, he didn't know shit. His mind was all clogged up, the small thought Me? didn't even make it to the surface, for Felix to grasp.

"Don't fuck with me! Really?", Jisung laughed out loud. "Jeez, why didn't you say so? Who?!" shouted Changbin as well, and must have slammed his hand on the table again, because once more the shrill clang of metal on marble echoed through the apartment. Startled by this, Felix flinched, which in turn caused him to slip away on the damp bathroom floor.

"Fuck-"

He fell on his butt after unsuccessfully struggling to find his balance, and a dull thud echoed through the bathroom. Sharp pain instantly shot through his body and brought him back the memory that he had sex with Hyunjin yesterday - a Hyunjin who seemed to have his fucking heart elsewhere!

There was a long moment of silence in which he sat dazedly on the wet tiles - the just put on pants slowly taking up the wetness - then suddenly Hyunjin knocked on the door, "Hey, Lix? Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine.", he picked himself up, quickly threw the t-shirt on, and then pushed the door open, "Just slipped."

"You should be more careful." - the blond-haired gave him a gentle look - "You had a pretty rough time last night, after all.", with a hint of amusement in his voice, he shallowly placed a hand under the silver-haired one's elbow.

He gave him a warning look. However, Hyunjin had the audacity to appear obviously amused by this. Felix already opened his mouth to rebuke him but...

I already have someone I like.

The sentence echoed through the Australian's head again. His eyes narrowed as he slowly closed his mouth again. His stomach knotted again unpleasantly - yes, he really felt betrayed by Hyunjin. How could he keep such an important thing from him? Was he just an irrelevant pastime?

"Don't worry," he hissed spitefully and retreated from his grasp, "Besides, who?"

Irritated, Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, "Who what?" And it glaringly occurred to Felix that he actually shouldn't have been privy to any of the previous conversation.

"W-Who- Who was this Jieun anyway!" he barely managed to save himself. Clearing his throat embarrassingly, he sat down next to Changbin at the counter in front of his bowl of cereal. "Come on, tell me. I don't know her," he smiled - trying - warmly and lightheartedly into the round.

Now Hyunjin was the one who gave him dark glances. But Felix didn't care, and Jisung and Changbin were chatting away about the brunette.

Still, it bothered Felix to know who the blond had apparently fallen in love with. But the topic didn't come up again and he couldn't - and didn't want to - talk about it himself.

So the brown and black-haired man left soon after breakfast and a few rounds with Felix and Hyunjin at the console. After all, they had only come along to give Hyunjin back his jacket, which he had left at the club. 

When Felix left a little later, he was still wearing the clothes he had borrowed from Hyunjin - on his own pants there were some questionable stains. Because he felt neither the desire nor the mood to wait so long at Hyunjin's place until his clothes were washed and dried - when the blond-haired was only busy with his art folders anyway.

Nevertheless, Hyunjin had asked him to stay longer, even when he was already standing in the entrance area - the door handle in his hand. Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and grinning way too wide, "Sure you don't want to stay, baby?"

Warmth sprouted instantly in the cheeks of the silver-haired and thus also an unavoidable rosy blush.

A few weeks ago, while talking English, Hyunjin had started calling him "Baby~" - smiling sweetly, digging his index finger into Felix's cheek. But since the pet name had somehow made its way into their sex life as well, any tone of cuteness and innocence had been lost in the context.

So, in the end, he'd just stuck his tongue at him and left smirking nonetheless - the familiar sound of Hyunjin's laughter resounding far out into the hallway, making him forget all his worries and doubts.

Eventually, he sat lulled by his scent, waiting for the bus, lonely at the bus stop. Unbearably hot, the glass bus stop did not shield him a bit from the blazing afternoon sun. Not even his bitter thoughts would leave him alone.

He slowly dragged on a cigarette as he recalled the past hours. So much had happened that he didn't understand - that he couldn't put together.

What concerned him most was, on one hand, Hyunjin's reaction - what he meant by you're mine, baby. Sure, he knew what it meant in the normal context of a relationship. But that wasn't their context, ... was it? He really didn't know where they stood in this big spectrum between friendship and beyond. On the other hand, there was that disgusting feeling that had spread through his stomach when he contradictorily said he loved someone. Because for real? Fucking him, but already having someone else in mind?

However, this twisted feeling had occurred many times before. As if his stomach was twisting and in knots...

He put his head far into the neck and let the smoke be blown away by the hot summer wind.

This feeling could sometimes be painful, other times it was almost pleasant - so that he was overcome by a warm tingling. It was strange how this feeling sometimes crept even into his heart - maybe he had stomach ulcers or was developing a problem with his heart?

There had been some in his family with cardiac arrhythmias... Nonsense, he was in perfect health. And yet it was driving him crazy - Hyunjin was driving him crazy!

Frustrated, he stubbed out the cigarette butt: "There's nothing more confusing than these damn feelings, is there?"

His heart clenched again-

Suddenly the realization hit him - his breath hitched and at the same time, his eyes grew wide as he turned his hasty gaze downward.

His fingers cramped in the fabric of the black sweatpants, so tight that his knuckles stood out white. His vision began to waver - as if the earth was spinning too fast.

This couldn't be, this mustn't be...

The tangle of thoughts and feels slowly unraveled. All the self bulit unnecessary thoughts dissolved until only the obvious emotion remained. The one thing he wanted not to happen, the one thing he deliberately overlooked: Love.

His vision became blurry and before he realized it, a tear dripped onto his cramped hand... He had actually fallen in love with Hyunjin.

Why?

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I had two variants on from the last chapter to update. I have now opted for the one with the additional chapters (because if I already have the raw version of those, why not 🤷 xD)