A Journey From Germany

Chapter 9

I grabbed a book I found interest in and sat in the bed. Two hours later Daniel came into our room scaring me for a second. Daniel sat next to me "What book are you reading?" Daniel asked
"Oh, just Anne Of Green Gables" I said, blushing at how childish I sounded. Daniel didn't say anything for a few seconds
"Can I read it with you? We don't have anything much to do" Daniel said, I nodded in agreement. Daniel leaned against the headboard and I leaned against his chest while we were reading.

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After a few hours Frau Schneider called us down to eat dinner. Dinner was a simple meal, mash potatoes and sausages. Once we finished meals I went up stairs and to the bathroom to have a bath.

After an hour I got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around my chest. I got a comb and brushed my hair. I looked at my refection and sighed. When I look at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help but see the National Socialist girl that I raised to be; but now I want to leave that life behind me. I also saw my brother in me.

Reinhard and I always looked alike, although as we grew up we started to look different. My hair had darkened into a honey blonde and my once light blue, are now a navy blue. Reinhard had kept the some light colours. Because of this, I still get memories from when Reinhard had hit me.

I hadn't really noticed all these flaws till now; when I looked up into the mirror I felt my eyes start to burn. Slowly I noticed that my vision had blurred and I wiped my eyes. I got changed and dried with my hair with the towel.

I looked back in the mirror, I hoped no one noticed that I've been crying. I went back into the room I've been staying in and, Daniel went into the bathroom after me, although he hadn't looked at me. I was thankful since he didn't notice my red eyes.

I sat there on the bed for a few seconds; I knew that Daniel would take quite a while to wash. I took a moment to reflect on my past now that I'm alone, and the children are either with their parents or in their rooms, so they shouldn't hear me.

I remembered the times that Unc- Herr Hitler, had kissed the backs of my hands, praising my Aryan blood and Aryan traits, like my,
previously, long blonde hair and blue eyes. I thought about how my brother had played tricks on me, and how he had hit me. I remember, the papa I remember, seemed to be different from what he seemed to me. I also remembered how it turns out how my best friend has been in a romantic relationship with my father figure, and politician Adolf Hitler.

My friend killed herself a short time ago. I've remembered how my life was a lie, how everything I've been taught was false. I just started to have the tears run down my face. I've been holding back so much pain for so long.

After half an hour Daniel had returned to our room and noticed that I had just stopped crying. "Gretl?" Daniel you said. I sat up straight away, my mother and Unc- Herr Hitler, had called me that. "Are you ok?" He asked sitting next to me, rubbing my back.

I felt tears going down my face again. "Oh Daniel..." I said, my voice shaking "Everything I've known has been a lie" I said, my voice cracking at the end. "I would've somewhat fine, but, Gertl was a nickname I had" I said hiccupping every few words. My voice shaking so much.

"Gretchen, I'm sorry" He said, moving so he was in front of me, placing both his hands lightly on my shoulders. I placed my head in the crook of his neck, wrapping my arms around Daniels neck.

I felt tears going down my face, damping his undershirt. Daniel wrapped his arms around my waist. He was muttering some calming words and kissed my head. After a few minutes Daniel pulled back "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly.