Refined Love

part 13

"When was the last time you've experienced sadness in your life?" The woman asserted me.

"Um.." I pondered, "I don't know?"

She sighed.

"When was the last time you've cried?"

I frowned at her. Her questions didn't make sense.

"A few days ago. I can't remember why."

Lie.

"My dear, are you sure you're okay?" She tilted her head.

"Yes."

Another lie.

"Do you want to talk about it with me?" The woman blurted out.

"Not really."

That wasn't a lie. I didn't trust this random old lady with my life story.

She shook her head, giving up.

"We still have 50 minutes. Why don't you tell me about your life outside of your troubles?" She smiled at me.

I groaned under my breath, huffing.

It was going to be a long 50 minutes.

• • •

I stared out into the sunrise. I had not slept all night, I just stayed up and gazed.

Simon was gone. I couldn't do anything to fix that.

But I just feel like I could've. If I would've seen him in time, I could've warned them!

But life isn't always how you want it. It doesn't always go your way.

I stepped into the sand, looking beneath my legs. There was a pile of seashells.

I smiled, remembering when I came to Simon after what happened with Roger. These were the seashells he was collecting.

I wanted to look at them, but I didn't. Instead I just walked away so I wouldn't be reminded of him. Not after everything.

Ralph was huddled in a ball as he held his knees upright together.

He had developed eyebags under his eyes, and he looked like a mess.

I mean, he did just see someone die. I don't really blame him.

"I miss him too." I whispered, sitting next to him.

"I'm so sorry." He told me.

"Not your fault." I assured him.

"But it is. I could've done something, but I didn't. I could've told them to stop."

"You didn't know." I sighed, shaking my head.

He closed his eyes and put his head down onto his legs.

Piggy was sitting there, eating a banana. He looked like there was not one thought behind his head.