FALLEN: A New Adult Romance (First of the FALLEN Trilogy)

Sense of Self

"Marcel started spending all of his time with her, learning about the job. It was inspiring at first until she showed me her true self. Kate was perfect on paper. She was good at her job and very dedicated. That was until I realised that she was not dedicated to her job but to my husband. Andrew would tell me all about her strange behaviour and her manipulation at the office to get to him. He saw through it all, and I feel so blessed to have had such a loyal and loving husband. But when he passed, I had to fire her because she had too much of an influence on Marcel." Edith explains to me at great length that my nemesis's roots are deeper into Marcel than I initially thought. I feel utterly mortified.

I had my own opinion of Kate, and I was scared of her hold on my boyfriend, but hearing his mum tell me the same and that she is more twisted than I initially thought sickens and terrifies me.

I try to think quickly. Do I tell Edith about the hold she still has over him, or do I keep it to myself not to worry her? I need to act quickly before Marcel comes back. I can hear his footsteps in the corridor, so I hurry.

"She still has. They talk constantly. We have to do something about it. It's toxic." I have only the time to say before I see my boyfriend making eye contact with me as he enters the dining room and takes back his seat by my side.

"What's toxic?" He asks, still as cold as he is usually but not as much as he was with me minutes ago.

"The story I am working on. I just told your mum that I'm an illustrator for children's books and that we met at the book fair." I tell him the lie I had planned in my head during the car ride here. It doesn't sound as bad as all my other attempts at lying, yet, even if I've rehearsed, it doesn't seem to fully convince Edith. I'll need to do something.

"Which one, Marcel?" His mum asks, her eyes as cold as his, her suspicious glance holding his gaze until he responds.

"I don't remember."

"Of course you do." I let out and turned towards his mum without telling which book fair. I wouldn't want to get mistaken about the dates of the events. "He attended as a civilian. I didn't even know he was working for a publishing house. He just walked in front of me, and I stopped him, asking him if he wanted me to draw him. He is so gorgeous, I had to take my chance." I lie to Edith with a bright smile on my face, reliving it as if it were true, our perfect little fairy tale. It's so sad that the truth is far from that.

"That sounds enchanting." She simply says and smiles at me before gazing back at her son. I don't know if she is genuine. Maybe she is still shaken about my cry of help towards Kate. I don't know... And here I thought her son was hard to figure out...

"It really was. He sat in front of me for two hours without saying anything. I found his silence comforting. There were no words needed. I just revelled in seeing him be, how he held himself, his posture. He has incredible hands and beautiful traits. And there was this depth in his eyes that showed his character. He was a truly superb subject in every way." I smile at the memory of when he brought me to the hair salon on our first date. I stared at him through the mirror in front of me the whole time. I had nothing else to do, and he captivated me. "I'm always so expressive that it was fascinating to see him talk with only his eyes. I have to admit that he made it hard for me to draw his personality on paper, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know."

I reach for his hand, his arms crossed on his chest, and intertwine our fingers together. He is hesitant at first, and that alarms me. Right... the fight in the loo. It makes me think. What was he up to all alone while I talked to his mum?

Nobody dares to say a word, and it starts to weigh on me. It grows awkward too quickly, and I hate it. I feel as if the air is being sucked out of the room. I can't escape again. I already did once.