Ghost Of You

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After Edith had explained to me how it has always haunted her the idea that Marcel could have been responsible for Andrew's death, the only notion of Marcel being this vile sickened me. Nobody has been arrested for the murder, so it has always been elusive. Since I came so late into their lives, I have to admit that I don't even know the story or what happened. But, I can see clear as day that all these secrets about what Marcel has done or seen and kept from Edith is weighing heavy on their relationship.

After we'd drunk through our whole respective bottle of wine, we both got over our tears and our anger. We stayed in silence for thirteen minutes, I checked. And then, since we had nothing more to do, we headed back down to the conference hall. Edith took a bunch of my book and drunkenly but hilariously distributed it to the writers and people we would cross. We were having so much fun, and it was an authentic bonding experience until our drunkenness wasn't mistaken for enthusiasm anymore. We had to leave before we made a scene and affected our reputation. Edith stayed behind and tried to sober up a little before doing a little more work. As for me, I joined Sophie in her room.

After the high of the wine faded, I sank back into the hole of sadness my break-up had created inside of me. I told Sophie everything, and we pathetically ended up crying. But then, half an hour later, we got laughing, realising that we would be going to the show as single women. I think she helped herself with her mini bar as well earlier because I'd never seen her so emotional before. She talked about regretting never going to college or doing anything other than working for Wright Books and spending her money on rent and nights out with the boys. Her need to see some change in Lucas is desperate and understandable. She has been dealing with his addiction for so long, it seems like such a step back that he spits on both their efforts like that. Why did he?

I don't understand Lucas's motive behind using again. If he was genuinely missing Sophie, he could have just called her or video chatted with her. His excuse doesn't add up. Does he doubt the relationship, so he tries to do everything to see it crash and burn? It doesn't make sense. He wouldn't have been this upset earlier when Sophie told him it was over... And he wouldn't have blamed me.

It's still a little bit pissed when we get to the venue. After the day I've had, I'm ready to party. I'm already halfway there, but maybe with a beer or two, I'll forget everything and focus solely on me for once. I don't know why, but I've never felt as selfish in my life. Sophie tells me to embrace that. For the first time, I don't have to worry about anything but myself. She is very right, and I quickly realise that the same applies to her.

Once we have owned that tonight is our night and not anyone else's, the first place Sophie pulls me is expectedly the bar. We sneak between all the ladies waiting at the merch stand and order ourselves a pint. We don't wait long, but we get annoyed at everyone bumping into us as the crowd get bigger around us. I grow suddenly very irritated. Sophie laughs at me and how whiny I am becoming tonight. It helps me see how ridiculous I sound. We are all here to have fun, and it's not the first time I have seen them. I shouldn't act like this towards the people getting excited even if they get a little too close to me for my liking.

"I would never have pictured you as a grumpy drunk." Sophie continues to laugh at me as she guides me the way to our reserved section.

"It's circumstantial," I respond and wink at her with a smirk.

We get to our seats easily, and I shrug my annoyance off like a dirty shirt. We have this whole empty section to ourselves. People won't really be an issue now. Instead, my mind finds itself wondering what Ashley is doing now. I decide to take out my phone and text him.

Me: Hey you. I'm here with Soph. What are you doing?

I send him the text, and Sophie leans in over my shoulder to look at what I'm texting.

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