18: Trauma

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"I don't think I can do this, Wafiyya." She lamented and held more onto her bag. They were already at the airport, and she was finding it hard to get out of the car. She didn't tell Wafiyya that they had won that couple package because if he had acted the way he did when she lied to her mother about being married to him when he knew it was sole because of ballet, she didn't know how he would act if she told his cousin they had won the couple quiz and would stay in the hotel for two days. Did that even count? Maybe they were only taking the free flight and abandoning the hotel stay.

Wafiyya nudged her shoulder with an encouraging smile, "Come on, I assure you that you can do this, Jalilah. What happened to your old self? You were courageous!" She wished she was now. But he had crushed her self esteem to the point that she felt even Wafiyya that was speaking to her now was only doing her a favour. She bit her inner cheek and looked away, she didn't want to cry again in front of Wafiyya after all the tears she had shed.

Wafiyya hissed softly when she saw that, she hated the way Jalilah acted. She didn't know what was Yazeed's response to that, but she was sure it was something bad. Because someone as lively as Jalilah was, couldn't act the way she was acting now because of a mere fight. She wished he hadn't done the damage he could never get the chance to repair. She walked out of the car and to the door side of Jalilah. She opened it and gently pulled her out of the car.

"There, have you seen there are no monsters around? Get a hold of yourself, Jalilah. I don't know what he said to you, what he did to you..." She let her words trialled off and placed her hands on Jalilah's shoulders. "But I want you to discard his words, yeah, sometimes some words are so hard to forget, I know. But don't let them define you, don't let those words be who you are, okay? You're a freaking goddess, a beauty, an art moulded in the greatest perfection. Don't ever look down on yourself or feel like you're not good enough, okay? I want you to raise your head, discard all he had uttered or done, and live your life the way you came to Abuja; knowing you're an art made by the greatest artist and wallah there's someone out there that would kill to have you in his life. Adjust your crown and walk as if you own the freaking world."

The ends of Jalilah's lips began stretching into a smile, and when Wafiyya saw that, she smiled as well and pulled her into a hug. "Now, that's so much like the Jalilah I knew. Go to him, okay? But don't voice a word out, ignore him for as much as you could, unless it's a do or die matter, don't you ever speak to him first. You can live on yourself, tell yourself you're only going there to fulfil a wish you've had since you were born, would he matter? No. You have to do this for yourself, I trust in you."

With one more last hug, Jalilah collected her two trollies that were now in Wafiyya's hand and she waved her goodbye before she disappeared into the departure, where Wafiyya confirmed to her he was waiting. She pulled out their tickets, she knew not to be asked first. She saw him from a distance and something got lost in her as if all the words Wafiyya had uttered to her were being drained down and she felt weak. He was on a phone call, and she needn't be told who he was having a phone call with, it was either Sulaiman or a business call. And right now, from the way he was scrunching up his face in an angry way, only that he couldn't end the call on Sulaiman, she knew it was him.

"But that was how your miserable self said that you loved me in front of your mother. You love me, for real?! Were you this cheap? This pitiful that you have no other choice but to push yourself on a man?!" Like a thunder, these words struck into her heart and she had to stop right in the track. What kind of mistake had she done, she felt tears pooling the brink of her eyes but she fought them so hard. No, she couldn't do this, she had to go back. She would rather be killed by Uncle Yusuf than face him. The words he had said, the disgust she had seen in his eyes when he was uttering the words, everything.

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