Can I Be Your Mrs?

30: 'Can I Be Your Mrs?'

It went on for long that she felt exhausted with just exhaling her breath. She thought that if she avoided him like he did to her she could be able to forget about him, maybe lay out a new curriculum for her life, but Jalilah had been wrong. She failed this time too. Nothing excited her, not even ballet. Maybe because she wanted him to be playing the piano for her while she danced? Was it because she wanted him to stare at her while she danced as though she were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen? And after she was done dancing, he would come over to her and tell her how much of a goddess she was, how much of a perfected art she was. Maybe that was why, because she had attached too much too much resilience on him when it came to ballet, and now that the only things linking them was the house they lived, Jalilah knew it would be so hard to dance.

She only painted, that was when she was not watching. She had watched tons of movies that she wondered how she had gotten the time to cover up such amount. She wished she could go to the company, maybe being around people will take her mind off things but when she remembered that she will likely be looking like a zombie when she want to the company, she preferred living in solitude. She was even tired of asking Farha the effective way to stop loving him, it had always been the same question for nearly a month now, which none of them knew the answer too.

Yesterday Jibril called her and told her that he wanted to see her, she didn't want to, but Farha urged her to accept, maybe she would be able to forget about Yazeed through him, but Jalilah could only smile, she knew the way she loved him, it was hard someone to make her forget him. And at least, that someone shouldn't be in the person of Jibril. But still, she told him to come, she sent him the address knowing he wouldn't know it was Yazeed's house. She was just getting ready as Farha gave her some consoling words that would have made her feel better if she wasn't sedated with so much grief that she felt she could sleep forever if that meant she wouldn't have to feel what she was feeling in her heart.

"Are you there, Jalilah? Or you're lost again? Please don't kill yourself because of this man, Jalilah!" Farha yelled from the phone and that was when she realized she was supposed to be on phone with Farha, she quickly masked up her emotions as if she could see her.

"No, I went to my wardrobe searching for the matching veil, sorry, I didn't hear you calling my name. What did you say?" She asked, and wished Farha wasn't going to repeat all she had said, because even though she had heard it times without number, it always irked her heart whenever she heard it.

Farha sighed, she knew she lied because she didn't want her to say what she always said when it came to Yazeed. Suddenly, she was protecting him from them, and Farha knew not to insult him or anything. "I said you should please give him a chance, Jalilah. You don't know where it will go, maybe he's your answered prayer, maybe he's going to be the one that will make you forget Yazeed. Please treat him right, okay? I know it will be so hard on you because he isn't the one you love, but will you please try?"

She wished she could, and when Farha said maybe he was her answered prayer she wanted to laugh. Who could be her answered prayer other than Yazeed? If only he would love her half the way she loved him. "I will, Insha Allah." They kept conversing while she got ready. And when it was time, they ended the call and shortly his call came through. He had told her that he would be there around five, and one thing she liked about Jibril was his punctuality. She walked downstairs and he was at the parking lot, scrolling through his phone.

The moment he saw her, his face lit up into a smile, Jalilah wished she didn't have to endure the next few hours before he left. But she tried to smile and walked up to him, "Hey, good evening."

He kept staring at her until she teasingly waved across his face and he chuckled while looking away, "You're so beautiful, Sanaya. Please how do I control myself?" She chuckled and ushered him in, funny how these were sweet words but she hated them when they were uttered by him.