Can I Be Your Mrs?

28: Rain Of Emotions

She was anxious, maybe she could even touch her heart if she let hand stay longer than a minute on her chest. She wasn't hell-bent on winning, it wasn't a loss if she didn't win, but at the same time, she wanted to win. Angst had been eating up on her soul since they started practising with Yazeed. He always played the piano for her even though she had gotten her phone back, and she could say it was enough to encourage her. But it did little to no good for her heart. She had turned off her phone since yesterday night, she knew Farha would call, Wafiyya would call too, maybe Sulaiman would call too if Wafiyya told him. But she knew that having a call with them will make her more anxious than she was, it would give her hope which after she had failed it would crush her.

It was too early for her to wake up now, but she couldn't sleep either. She had hugged her knees to her chest and just thought. Maybe if she could speak to Mama about it, she would have called her. But she needed no one now, just herself. Had it been Baba was alive, Jalilah was certain she could call him to tame down her anxiousness. She groggily got up and took her bath, she needed to be there in an hour, and after she had her breakfast, she sat there in the living room. She didn't know how she would act if she didn't win, but she was certain Yazeed would make her feel better. That's if he didn't go into hiding like he always did.

She knew he had to take his breakfast before he would leave for work, and she scribbled a note for him, keeping it beside the coffee machine. David was thereafter she was done and she walked out feeling dejected, she wished she would have someone to cheer her up at the competition. Someone not like Jibril, because she was certain if she called him and told him she wanted to see him, he would make sure he came for her. But sadly, he wasn't the one she wanted, she wanted someone else, not him.

She was sitting in the changing room, she had already changed into her ballerina dress and she couldn't help staring at her phone, she had switched it on. She had just finished a call with Mrs Rosey, who assured her that she would do better, she had trusted her. But Jalilah didn't want that, she wanted someone to be there on her first official day on stage. She was waiting for his call or maybe even a text would do to make her better, but nothing came. Didn't he know that she would be dancing today? But she had told his yesterday night, he had encouraged her that she wished it will take on until today. But she wanted to have a positive thought on him. Maybe he was busy too, maybe he had a work to fulfil because he was rounding up in Lagos as well, they were all there for three months, and it was only a few days to the said time.

"Miss Khadija," the woman called behind her and Jalilah tore her eyes from the blank screen of her phone. "We're about to start now, you should come." She had no choice but to nod her head, she thought she would wait for his call or maybe a text. She dropped her phone dejectedly and was about to walk out of the changing room when her phone began to ring, she was sure she felt the way her heart dropped on the floor before she picked it and ran toward her bag.

He was the one that called! A wide grin broke her lips as she picked the call and whispered, "Hi."

He smiled softly, "'Hey, Yazeed. Good morning, I know you're fast asleep but I have to leave now. Don't forget to eat your breakfast before leaving for work, not just coffee, okay? Bye.' Why do I feel this isn't what you have in mind when you wrote the note, Jalilah?" He read out her note and then asked the question she was sure he would ask after she had left the note for him.

She sighed, "I don't know how to voice it out, that I'm anxious and I don't know what to do? It felt not okay to me." She shook her head softly, feeling the way his voice was magically gliding through every nook and cranny of her heart, she liked it. It was calming her down, that husky voice of Yazeed was doing wonders to her soul.

"You're nervous, Ballerina. But I told you yesterday, you'd be great. It's perfect, I'm sure no one can dance the way you do. Stop being nervous, hold your head up high like the freaking goddess that you are." She didn't know how she chuckled, but the way he smiled after she did that was enough evidence that he knew she would smile, or better, he knew it would make her feel less anxious than she was.