Can We Keep Her?

Can We Keep Her? - All the Things You Can Have (and the One Thing You Can't)

Steve sat on the bench in Central Park nursing a cup of black coffee. Before he met you; this burned, bitter version you could get just about everywhere and he drank black, was just how he liked it. Now after nine months of dating and over a year of living together, he'd started getting a sweet tooth. Shitty black coffee he paid a dollar for didn't cut it anymore. He needed it to be espresso. Having a flavored syrup was nice. A little bit of chocolate was even better. He especially liked it when it was dusted over the top of thick milk foam.

He took another sip and grimaced. It was coming into spring. The flowers in the park were just starting to bloom and the air was just warming up again. It was also fast approaching the second anniversary of the day you'd been hit by a bike messenger outside the tower.

As Steve sat, just enjoying the early afternoon sun, a horse and carriage trotted by. There were a bride and groom sitting in the back, cuddled up close to each other. The carriage pulled into the driveway out the front of Tavern on the Green and the two got out and proceed to have photos taken around the garden. Steve watched as they posed kissing, holding hands, and staring off into the middle distance, feeling a slight pang of regret. For a moment he didn't even know where it came from. He was happy with two people who he loved deeply. The two people that loved him back - one of whom he'd grown up completely in love with and had never thought he'd be lucky enough to actually end up with.

So even though he felt much luckier than most men, he had grown up expecting to get married. He had never thought he'd get married in a place like Tavern on the Green but he did picture a small wedding in a church in Brooklyn, and a reception on some tables set up in the alley beside his building.

With the life he'd chosen, that was not really an option anymore. He couldn't pick one of you over the other, and while he could now marry Bucky where that was not the case growing up, the world was not at a place where he could marry you both. Seeing other people get to have that, even with the fact what he did have was more than he could have ever hoped for, made him feel that small twinge of envy.

"I hate you, you know," Sam said, collapsing down on the bench next to him. He was sweat-stained and panting, his hand rested on his chest just above his heart and he drank water from the sports bottle he'd carried with him.

Steve chuckled. "I don't make you try and keep up with me," he said, picking up the coffee he'd bought Sam and offering it to him.

"Nah. Thanks, man. I can't drink that since your girl moved into the building," Sam said, waving it away.

"I'm the same. I don't know why I keep buying it," Steve agreed, still watching the bride and groom. "We should stop by the shop on the way home. Get some decent coffee."

"Already planned to," Sam said. "You know them?" he added, gesturing to the bride and groom with his bottle.

Steve shook his head. "No. Just thinking of the things we can't have."

Sam laughed and nudged his friend. "You can have that."

"Sam..." Steve said, his voice resigned to start the lecture about legality and choosing one of you over the other.

"Not legally. But why not? You can have a ceremony. Dress up. Get up in front of your friends and say I do. Have the party. Cut the cake. Damn, imagine the cake, Cap," Sam said, looking off into the middle distance wistfully.

"People do that?" Steve asked, still unsure.

"Sure. It's a commitment ceremony. Is it the same as getting married? No. All the legal stuff isn't part of it. Most people won't recognize you as being married. But you can have rings. You can even change your names if you want," Sam explained. "I think you should do it for the cake."